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How to Scare Fear Out of Your Life
A reader asks: "Many times in my life I have let fear rule me and stop me from doing something I wanted to do. Do you have any suggestions for how to handle fear?" There are many successful strategies for dealing with fear in your life. What I'll offer you today are a variety of strategies, each of which can stand alone or can be used in conjunction with each other. One is to realize that everyone is afraid from time to time. Some people show it. Some people don't, which makes them look like they have it all together and are never afraid. Every teenage boy knows the fear of rejection that causes him to hang up when the girl he wants to ask for a date answers the phone. If you will consider the situation, or any fear of rejection, from a different perspective, I believe it will give you some power over fear. When the boy makes the phone call, he starts out not having a date. If he asks and she says yes, he has gained a date. If she says no, he has what he had when he started, no date. He hasn't lost anything and he has no regrets. That point of view can help turn fear of rejection on its head. FEAR means There are two acronyms for fear that I have found useful. One is that fear stands for Forget Everything And Run. Another is that fear stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. Many times our fear convinces our brains to search for evidence to support our feeling afraid. Our brains can always find evidence to support any fear. Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "Do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain." When it comes to facing and conquering fears, practice, practice, practice is the key. Doing little things that you fear, over and over, forces the fear to flee. This may sound crazy, but with practice it can become a challenge, even fun. Let's put some hands and feet on these ideas by giving you two specific techniques for conquering fear. The first comes from Mark Victor Hansen and Jack Canfield, co-authors of the "Chicken Soup for the Soul" series. In their book on the power of asking, "The Aladdin Factor" (Berkley Books, $13), the authors devote an entire chapter to the conquering of fear. One of the most useful techniques is a two-part sentence completion. The first sentence is, "When it comes to asking for what I want, I'm afraid to ..." In the second sentence, for each example in the first, change the sentence to say "I would really like to - and I scare myself by imagining ... " They key word here is imagining. Once we realize and face how we are scaring ourselves, we are well on the way to conquering our fears. Here's another useful technique: Take a blank sheet of paper. On one side draw a timeline from birth to the present. On the timeline, mark and date all the times in your life that you have been hindered by fear. Now turn the page over. On one end of the page write down a major dream or goal in your life, and make a list of all the steps necessary to reach that dream or goal. Turn the paper back over and look at the timeline. That's the past. You have no control over it and can't do anything about it, except learn from it. Turn the paper over and put it behind you. On this side of the paper is your present and future. You can do plenty about your future. You, not fear, can decide how this side of the paper will look. Finally, let's take the word fear and create an acronym that is empowering. Fear now stands for Face Each Area Repeatedly. Do this, and your fears will have to fall. For more tips and tools for successful living, you are invited to visit Jeff Herring's www.toolsforsuccessfulliving.com">ToolsforSuccessfulLiving.com
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Just Let 'Em Go! I remember when I was just a little guy probably about 4 or 5 years old, I was fascinated by snakes. Not any particular type of snake - just snakes in general. Turning Your Life Over To God and Trusting Him To Lead You Is Like . . . . . . . The Memorable First Days! The first few hours in this world, when we as babies drop out to mingle with the natural beauty and wonders, the first day in our life is the most important day of our life.Don't we all have these memorable first days in our life?Ask a philatelist and he or she will say how memorable the first days are, to them. Life Inspiration: 12 Tips for Successful Living 1. Constant affirmation without accountability is a sure-fire way to cripple a child. Practice Being Like a Child Remember the master teacher once said 2000 years ago, "Unless you can become like little children, your chances are zero, you haven't got a prayer." A major consideration for adults. Believe in Yourself! A near middle-aged man in one of my last workshops had followed his calling for the past decade with unbounded zeal. Alas, his career had never developed into long-term employment but rather, was fraught with numerous set-backs, lay-offs and even dismissals. Contemptable Temptation Let's look at the lesson we should all pay attention to in the Bible, the flight of the Israelites from Egypt. Was their escape through the Red Sea merely an exploit by God or was there some other signifigance to this act?1 Cor. Four Words that Make Life Worthwhile Over the years as I've sought out ideas, principles and strategies to life's challenges, I've come across four simple words that can make living worthwhile.First, life is worthwhile if you Learn. There Is Always Room For Improvement When I was twelve my parents bought me a five foot snooker table for my birthday. This turned out to be the best present I was ever bought and I quickly became hooked on the game. Hope in Humanity Let us renew our hope in humanity. It's so easy to lose faith when someone cuts us off on the highway, when a 'friend' blows us off (for the second time) and fails to show, when we get burned in a business deal, when a co-worker doesn't do what they said they were going to do, or when a colleague fails to keep their promise, etc. Personal Fear of Change and How to Change It! It's interesting how we intellectually know that tomorrow will be different from yesterday, or even different from today. We know this based on experience. A Word Fitly Spoken ~ Acceptance A WORD FITLY SPOKENA word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver. Proverbs 25:11I expect to pass through this world but once. Duplicity Direct Answers - Column for the week of January 26, 2004We've been married 20 years. In order to spice up our sex life we would occasionally share fantasies, and one that seemed to turn us both on involved my wife with me and another man. Its About That Time As we've reached the half way point of the year I'm thinking this might be a good time to pull up and evaluate things. Look back over the first 6 months, and look ahead to the upcoming days and months. The Minds Fancy Dress Party -Or- A Brainstorming Session In Berlin a restaurant opens for anorexics and in Buffalo a lawyer with a stutter wins a court case. When everything you're working on has gone STALE and your own initially promising concepts are starting to annoy you, you need a brainstorming session to get to the missing bits or generate some new ideas. Opening Hearts is as Easy as Opening a Window Two-year-old Owen goes to speech therapy twice a week. The therapist's office is small and gloomy. A Pre-existing Condition Direct Answers - Column for the week of December 2, 2002I am 25 and have been married for two years. This past August I began an affair with my husband's younger brother. The Power of Notes Notes are very powerful. They express your thanks, encouragement, sympathy, apology, congratulations, feelings, and requests to others. Being An Adult I have always thought that grandparents were the icons of wisdom, the "go to" person with he answers, the epitome of patience.When I was young, I often thought, "When I grow up, I want to be like Grandpa". Dreams Keep Us Going The eyes are the portals of the inner self; the doorway to the soul. If you will look into someone's eyes you will either see the glossy reflection of light, the life of the soul, or you will see a dull non-reflective image of darkness.
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