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Self-Validation: Living an Empowered Life
Sometimes we are concerned with being right and we don't stop to think that our comments or our actions might hurt another person's feelings. We don't always get enough validation in this world, or perhaps we did not receive enough validation from our parents and our teachers and the people who were around us when we were growing up, so we try to be right and find validation now in this world, sometimes at the expense of other people. It is okay to have a different opinion from another person. But it is not our job or responsibility to try to convince everybody else that they are either wrong or that they have an inaccurate perception of a certain subject. We have enough to do just trying to keep ourselves on the straight and narrow. If you're going to say anything that's critical, try to find the sweetest way, the least insulting way to present your point of view. In doing so, you are more likely to get a favorable response from the other party. Nobody is going to pay attention to you, or validate what you are saying if they feel attacked. And validation is what you are looking for after all, isn't it? Sometimes in our youth we think that we know everything. Sometimes we find out later that we did not know everything after all. Ouch. As we mature we may begin to realize that we don't require validation from anyone else. That is just living in victim mode. We are powerless and everyone else but us has power over us. WRONG! When we accept responsibility for our lives and our choices, and we give ourselves permission to become self-validating, we no longer seek nor need validation from anyone else. However, we need to be very clear with ourselves about how high we set the bar as far as ethics go. Don't cheat yourself by placing that bar too low, or you never really will achieve the self-esteem and the self-validation that you seek because it will be based on standards that are inadequate. When we show humility and humbleness, we become empowered. It's through being non-offensive, tolerant, and truly caring of others that we can gain the most respect from the people around us. There's an old saying that you attract more flies with honey than with vinegar. It's also true that you attract more friends and respect with sweetness than with bitterness. It's interesting to note that the kinder we are to others, the better we feel about ourselves. And you will find that people will tell you how much they appreciate your kindness and your thoughtfulness. It will make you unique in this world. This world is a harsh place sometimes. When you can be a safe space of healing, of love, of non-judgment, you will discover your greatest power. Your energy will shift into a magnetic state. You will find that good luck and love will flow to you while you are in that state. By practicing The Golden Rule, as the old saying goes, doing unto others as you would have them do unto you, you'll find that your life begins to work, and the things that you desire to have in your life will begin to appear. It's by living by The Golden Rule that all things become possible. It's by working through the heart rather than the head that true power is found. You need to be thinking correctly, that is true. But you need to be kind and considerate and loving, to yourself and to others, in order to become empowered in this world. It is from that state that others will find you attractive and will be drawn to you in both business and personal situations. You cannot give out love and kindness to the world without receiving the same back yourself. What you give is what you receive. Having earned the right to self-validate, be generous and spread around lots of validation to others in your life. Living an empowered and self-validating existence has caused you to become a role-model and someone that others can look up to. Teach and show them the way so that they, too, can always have the validation that we all seek. Copyright © 2005 Sherry Sims Sherry Sims has spent the last 20 years assisting people as a professional psychic, intuitive counselor, energy healer and teacher. Helping people to resolve personal and relationship issues has been at the core of her work. She gently assists her clients to accept their true power which allows them to begin taking control of their lives through healing, awareness, and self-love. To learn more about creating happiness and fulfillment in your life you will want to sign up for her free newsletter: www.mystic-hearts.com/simple-magic.html">SIMPLE MAGIC - Creating the Life You Want. For more articles by Sherry Sims please visit www.mystic-hearts.com">http://Mystic-Hearts.com
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Do You Pay For Services Out of Obligation or Appreciation? Have you ever paid for services rendered with a strong sense of appreciation, yet you weren't aware of the impact you had on the person who received the payment? Let me assure you it does make a difference. In fact, how you pay for any type of service sends an important message yet is often overlooked. Rightful Owner Direct Answers - Column for the week of January 20, 2003I was recently looking through some old photos when I found some of an ex-boyfriend when he was a child. I remember him telling me at the time these were the only photos that exist of him as a child, and that these are the only copies. A Pre-existing Condition Direct Answers - Column for the week of December 2, 2002I am 25 and have been married for two years. This past August I began an affair with my husband's younger brother. Remember The Titans --Let Them Never Forget... In the popular movie, "Remember the Titans" most of us most likely can recall our favorite scene. Do you remember this one?The first challenge of the coach was to get the community to break up the racial divide and pull together. The Eyes of the Clown There are few enough miracles in life, God knows. I think perhaps the circus is one of them. Dream Lover Direct Answers - Column for the week of September 1, 2003I met my wife a dozen years ago and her best friend shortly thereafter. I was always fond of my wife's friend. Four Words that Make Life Worthwhile Over the years as I've sought out ideas, principles and strategies to life's challenges, I've come across four simple words that can make living worthwhile.First, life is worthwhile if you Learn. If I Hurt You, Then Im Sorry This statement has stopped many a war in my house. My oldest two children are two years apart in age and would fight about everything and nothing when they were little. 5 Simple Tips For A Better Life How can we enjoy a better lifestyle?'Easy' I hear you say, all you need is a few million dollars a beautiful home a happy loving family and all the time in the world to sit back relax and enjoy life's pleasures.Well wouldn't that be a simple solution! A short trip to see the friendly bank manager and all your problems are in the past; hmmm maybe not - so on the basis that you're like me and don't expect any windfalls in the coming weeks here are 5 simple tips to improving your lifestyle. Begin With the End In Mind - Tips to Make Your Life More Meaningful What would you change if you knew you would be dead in 1 day? Would you spend more time at work, pouring over budget figures, and trying to figure out how you were going to make this quarter's numbers? Would you read just 1 more e-mail from a complaining co-worker? Would you check your voicemail one last time? What would your obituary say about your life?If you're like me, I'd bet you wouldn't do anything work-related. In fact, I would bet you would see if there was any way to extend that 1 day into 6 months or more, because there is SO much you have yet to accomplish. Opening Hearts is as Easy as Opening a Window Two-year-old Owen goes to speech therapy twice a week. The therapist's office is small and gloomy. Heavy Weather Guide Direct Answers - Column for the week of April 26, 2004My girlfriend and I are basically the same age, just a six month difference. When I went to buy the engagement ring in February, I felt certain she was the right one. Dont Die With Your Dreams Still Inside You I write and talk a lot about dreams. Primarily because I know we serve an awesome and amazing God, who gave us dreams for an awesome and amazing purpose. Powerful Caretakers - Taking Good Care of Ourselves First Our community consists of powerful caretakers. We do a great job of assisting and loving those around us. Parental Consent Direct Answers - Column for the week of August 11, 2003I am concerned about a relationship, but it is not my own. My nephew aged 21 is planning to get married this November. Sixty-Second Caring "How are you doing?" you ask. There's a pause before the reply. Blessings for the Soul In Corrogue I count my Blessings.These are numerous. He Who Laughs...Lasts---Where Has All The Laughter Gone? I love to watch people at airports, malls and even at our church. I wonder, what got them here? What attracted those two people to be together at this time? What makes that one tick or that one over there work so hard? And sadly, I wonder where has all the laughter gone?Studies show that children laugh approximately 400 times per day while adults laugh as little as 15 times a day. Even the Smallest Sound You are probably in front of your computer screen at this very moment, reading every word I have written.So. Here is The Inspirational Wisdom From The Masters Have you always wanted to do invent something, create something, improve the lives of other people, write a book, meet the partner of your dreams, and make more money. Here is some inspiration for you then.
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