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Comfort and Achievement
I'll share with you one of my deepest insights about achievement comfort and the desire to control even the slightest bump in the great ride we have come to call Life. When someone asks me a question I try to avoid giving them a straight answer because I believe an answer can only complicate things, I find that the best way to help them is to pose a better question. You see an answer has a certain finality whereas a question can open new possibilities. I find that people need something certain and finite to grab onto, some believe that this can define their inner being provide happiness and wellbeing for the rest of their life. A great example is science, science is a way of giving answers right? WRONG, no scientist in the world has found an answer, but the greatest scientists have found great questions! Questions that gave us a better understanding about the world around us. Can you remember when you where young and the world seemed so exciting, how every color and every smell had an identity of its own? You didn't know that "red" was red but it certainly made you feel in a way that no one else could or can possibly understand. We all evolved to the person we are today due to our keen sense of curiosity. I don't know about you but every time I asked the same question to different people I got a different answer, the people that gave me the answers didn't evolve nearly as I did, my guess is that this same thing happened to you too. As we grow older and older we rarely make any questions and subsequently our evolution rate declines. We become self absorbed and goal oriented, we feed our pompous ego with "achievements" that don't feel quite right but we do them anyway because they make us seem important and give us comfort and ease. With that stated, I'm not surprised that I rarely see a truly happy man. We have made happiness into achievement, which is tragic. You can't achieve something that you have always had but you have been trained systematically not to see. You reach to the top and you realize that it isn't the status that matters but what brought you there, are you proud about the things you did to get there, did you enjoy the ride? I'm not talking about ethics but about essence, it is really sad to realize you have wasted your life to achieve something that you never longed for just to gain approval or comfort or status or wealth. Everything is right if done for the right reasons but something "right" can be wrong if done for the wrong reasons. Now I have a question to you, which path is the one that will give you fulfillment satisfaction, will help you evolve and when you look back in time will make you feel proud and good about yourself? ***This article is dedicated to Ioanna a wonderful and charismatic woman that is on the verge of quit asking questions! ***
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Maternal Instincts Direct Answers - Column for the week of October 14, 2002I am a woman in her mid-60s whose husband passed away, and I do not want to enter into a relationship with another man. I have no family in town other than my daughter. What Company Does Your Business Keep? A man is known by the company he keeps. We have heard that phrase so many times. Emancipation Direct Answers - Column for the week of September 8, 2003When is it time to divorce a family member?I've been helping my partner manage his father's long-term care. This entails working with his brother who controls the purse strings. 20 Ways To Improve Your Life People often ask me how they can improve their lives.I always give them very specific advice on simple things they can do to create a radical shift in their experience of life. Taking Life Head On "We are built to conquer environment, solve problems, achieve goals and we find no real satisfaction or happiness in life without obstacles to conquer and goals to achieve." - Maxwell Maltz in Psycho-Cybernetics (1960)I have always taken life head on because I had no choice. True Inner Guidance It's easy to tell the difference between true inner guidance (spirit) and ego-driven guidance: the first is attended with Love and the second with Fear.True inner guidance will always draw you into something that you are desiring or want to be, do or have. Giving It Your Best - The William Hung American Idol Success Story Never underestimate the power that comes from following your passion. It never ceases to amaze me what can happen when we put action to work for us and go after the things that we hold a true desire for. The Priceless Gift of a Knee-High Smile She was just over knee-high standing next to me in the checkout line. I first saw her eyeing a display of candy as she followed her mother and brothers through the store. The Tiniest of Gladiators I stared into those biggest of navy blue eyes and felt the power of his fighting spirit, despite the pain and week long raging fever. Most of the time my heart was in my throat and my mind was awash with counter-productive thoughts like, "why him?" and "this isn't fair!"This wasn't helping him to be sure (my daughter was much stronger than I), but in spite, he not only survived the arduous ordeal, but he emerged the victor!I am talking about my infant grandson, Corbin Nicolas, clobbered with a serious infection of the lymph glands. Doing the Remarkable When it comes to meeting and conquering the negativity in your life, here is a key question: what can you do, starting today, that will make a difference? What can you do during economic chaos? What can you do when everything has gone wrong? What can you do when you've run out of money, when you don't feel well and it's all gone sour? What can you do?Let me give you the broad answer first. You can do the most remarkable things, no matter what happens. Reach Your Dreams About fifteen years ago I was rummaging through some old boxes in my basement when I discovered a stack of poems that I had written during my childhood. As I began reading, I discovered a long-forgotten world - one that sang with romance, adventure, and mystery. How to Conquer Fears and Worries "More than any other time in history, mankind face a crossroad. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, and the other, to total extinction. Meatballs: Friend, or Foe? We all have those moments, don't we? We're right in the middle of a project, and it's simply not going well.Like me, you may find yourself becoming irritated, wishing you could find an easier way to get the job done (or even eliminate it completely. Unintended Consequences Direct Answers - Column for the week of May 26, 2003My sister is celebrating her tenth anniversary this summer, and I'm concerned she is letting her relationship go. Her husband refuses to acknowledge any problems and doesn't believe in counseling. Resistance to Change All of us are resistant to change, whether it's in using a different tool, a technique a choice in partners, or lifestyle.The ones that resist the most have big labels like, orthodox, traditionalist, extremist. Everyone Has Been Hurt ....Part 6 Continued.. Psychic Sponge Syndrome: The Easy Inner-Centrifuge Remedy Here's a nifty trick to use to clear yourself of any psychic "stuff" you may pick up as you move through the world. I learned the basic format for it from a woman who had the booth space adjacent to mine at a tradeshow. The Good, The Bad and The Ugly Whoever coined this phrase is a genius. Life finds ways to dish out exactly this- the good the bad and the ugly. Walking on a Path of Life We set out walking along a route where one foot walks on a sidewalk that is slowly accenting to higher levels, whilst the other foot walks on the road. We will get to a point where we have to make a choice. Thoughts Are Like Seeds - Are You Planting Flowers or Weeds? "You can't harvest what you don't sow. So plant your desires, gently nurture them and they will be rewarded with abundance.
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