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To Thine Own Self
Direct Answers - Column for the week of December 6, 2004 Someone gave me a bit of advice, and I'm doing my best to get my head wrapped around it, trying to understand and comprehend and translate it into my own life. What does it mean to "follow your own heart"? Lisa Lisa, Dante's "Divine Comedy" opens with the author saying, "Midway in the journey of our life, I found myself in a dark wood, for the straightforward path had been lost." That is how many people feel. It is as if they are searching for an answer when they don't know the question. In your quiet moments, with no concern for anyone but yourself, what are your dreams? Your desires? What are your hobbies? Your interests? What did you like to do when you were young? If someone gave you a lot of money, what would you do? Often what you would do doesn't take money, but if you had money, you would feel the freedom--the unburdening--to do it. Most of us have a talent for complicating the obvious. The amoeba, a one cell organism, has a lesson for us all. It moves toward and embraces what it authentically needs, and it moves away from the uncongenial. That is all we need to do in life, and it applies to everything--people, jobs, leisure activities, and studies. This method is extremely simple. It is so simple people don't realize how powerful it is. In the course of time, it can create the kind of life we want. Is it sometimes wasteful? Yes, sometimes we follow false trails. Will we sometimes feel our life is stalled? Yes, but at a deeper level we are moving forward. People who follow this simple technique, in time, feel as if their lives were guided by an unseen hand. They gain a sense of destiny. What once seemed like random events, they know occurred for a purpose. They end up living a life which fulfills them. Wayne & Tamara I Love Lucy My mother is making dinner for the holidays, and she invited my mother-in-law who is undergoing chemotherapy. My mother-in-law is very upbeat about her condition, but she constantly talks about the details of her illness. The problem is this. My dad died from cancer 10 years ago. He and mother were very private about his illness and never brought it up with company unless someone asked. Mother was devastated by his death and has a hard time listening to other people's cancer stories. My mother told me she is going to call my mother-in-law and tell her a guest, who will be at the dinner, had cancer before and does not want to talk about cancer or have it discussed. That isn't true, but mom said the guest will play along. I feel uncomfortable with this. I told my mother, but she said it's her dinner and she is going to do it. I always treat my mother-in-law as a second mother, but my mother and my mother-in-law have a standoffish relationship. Since my mother is making an issue of this, it seems to be my problem, or is it? Jennifer Jennifer, a sonnet by Edna St. Vincent Millay contains the lines, "There are a hundred places where I fear to go,--so with his memory they brim." That is where your mother is. But your mother-in-law is, as another poet said, raging against the dying of the light. Your mother's scheme reminds us of the sitcom "I Love Lucy." Each episode involved a ruse, and when the ruse was discovered, all was forgiven. In real life subterfuges blow up and cause bad feelings. The guest's "cancer" may be all your mother-in-law needs to helpfully suggest support groups, books, and treatments. The real problem is two mothers who don't get along. Go to the dinner, but don't be a party to this ruse. Wayne & Tamara About The Author Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com" target="_new">www.WayneAndTamara.com. Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
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Delay Can Reveal Doubts Confident Expectation! The feeling of 'confidence' is the assurance that your desire IS on its way. And getting to that place where we have no doubt is one reason why there is often a delay in receiving what we know is coming. Learn to Deal in Challenges (Excerpted from the 2004 Jim Rohn Weekend Leadership Event)To really help people in extraordinary ways, learn to deal in challenges. That is what sports is all about, challenges. How to Scare Fear Out of Your Life A reader asks: "Many times in my life I have let fear rule me and stop me from doing something I wanted to do. Do you have any suggestions for how to handle fear?"There are many successful strategies for dealing with fear in your life. Those Who Sleep Get Sliced Chang lived in Flushing, Queens. Every afternoon he rode the train into Manhattan to work in the post office. Never Jump to Conclusions Human mind which is well known as a fluctuating prodigy presumes itself to be a great judge. It is so natural for the mind to judge anything that appears to it especially so in the case of other human beings. How to Get Over Emotional Misery Whether it's a holiday, anniversary, birthday or a time in your life where the rug of life itself seems to have been ripped out from beneath your feet, and you feel the kind of depression where you pray to not wake up, take heart. I have been there, and have learned how to come out of it to the other side of beaming joy, and want to pass this information on to you. Ever Wondered Why Everyone Else is Moving On, Except You? "I attend courses, read books, listen to CD's, yet I am still not living the life I want to and am unhappy with the life I have. How can I have the life I want to have?"This is a surprisingly common dilemma. Are YOU Ready for Bonza Bottler Day? BONZA BOTTLER DAY is any day when the date and the month have the same number. Bonza, I'm told, means "excellent" or "really great" in Australian, and there's some suggestion that "bottler" means the same. Just One Person We All Need I understand that all the self made people of this world, be it:the late Abraham Lincoln, former President of the United States, who failed at most levels in his early life. This can de-motivate even the strongest people in the world, but he continued and became the President. The Red Ribbon Everyone wants a blue ribbon. Blue. Showing Your Appreciation - How To Make Others Feel Special "There are fine things which you mean to do someday, under what you think will be more favorable circumstances. But the only time that is surely yours is the present, hence this is the time to speak the word of appreciation and sympathy, to do the generous deed - to sacrifice self a little more for others. Computers and Internet: Inspiring Us to Create The Internet is sometimes criticized (usually by parents who think their kids need to be outdoors more often) as leading people to be sitting in front of their computers all day growing bulbous, lethargic and (depending on who you talk to) stupid. I think that the opposite can often be true. Israel Is My Son "And thou shalt say unto Pharoah, Thus saith the Lord, "Israel is my son, even my first-born. And I say unto thee, Let my son go, that he may serve me;and if thou refuse to let him go, behold I will slay thy son, even thy first born(Exodus 4. The Great Challenge of Life Here's the great challenge of life - You can have more than you've got because you can become more than you are.I have found that income seldom will exceed your own personal development. A New Strategy Direct Answers - Column for the week of November 3, 2003My mother-in-law drives me crazy! She is an antisocial, critical, know-it-all who can't find anything decent to say about anyone but herself. Every time she comes to visit it puts such a damper on my relationship with my wife, it takes us days to recover. Tighten Your Connection It was my first and last experience with a pneumatic drill, which is a jackhammer with a star bit instead of a chisel bit. We four volunteers were to dig a septic tank for the caretaker's house at a Christian camp. Impaired Judgment Direct Answers - Column for the week of September 23, 2002My husband has a twofold addiction problem, drinking and drugs. In the six years we have been married, he has had periods of sobriety, but they don't ever last. Freudian Slip Direct Answers - Column for the week of November 17, 2003My dilemma is this. I've been going out with my boyfriend for five months. When Failure is a Gift I wanted, for many many years, to be a mystery writer. Finally I wrote a mystery novel. Triumphing Over Tough Times Right now many people are facing tough times. Life as we once knew it has changed and we may find ourselves confronting situations we have never dealt with before.
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