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The Art of Letting Go
It has been six months since I left the corporate world - and there are some things I will always miss. Like saying good morning to colleagues on my way to the office where I worked every day. Or getting caught in the excitement as we prepared for another big meeting or presentation. I now realize what a huge transition this was, moving from a corporate headquarters with hundreds of employees to a small home office of one. Though I would never trade in my current life, with its freedom and independence, I lived in that other world for 31 years? ? And I still feel the pangs of letting go. At different points in our lives we all experience the difficulty of letting go - not only physically but with our hearts and minds. We may need to do this with our relationships, careers or sometimes the place we call home. Even destructive relationships can be hard to walk away from. Author Casey Clair, in Still Single, speaks of the emptiness of her five-year affair with a married man and "the hours of self-doubt and unhappiness" that plagued her. She writes: "It all coalesced into a wound that even I couldn't ignore." It was the pain that finally forced her to leave him. We may also have to face the loss of our health or abilities through illness or an accident. When change is thrust upon us, it is often more taxing than when it's our decision. Either way letting go is never quick or easy. No matter whom or what YOU need to let go of in your life, here are ways to get through the process. · Allow Yourself to Grieve Ironically it is your own resistance that causes you the most pain. The more you resist giving in to emotion, the harder it becomes to get through this transition. Stoicism does not lend you strength. It is more helpful to re-live the good moments of the relationship or situation you must leave behind and acknowledge what it has given you. Then let the tears come. · Share Your Experience You may need to talk about the changes in your life. This is the time to turn to supportive friends or family members. Or even to strangers who understand what you're going through. Faye, a violinist and writer who suffered the loss of her parents followed by that of her beloved cat, says, "The one thing that's made any letting go easier is finding people who have gone through exactly the same experience." It may also be reassuring to read about others who have been at the same crossroads - where the past is still so close you can touch it, and the future too dim and vague to offer much comfort. A couple of times in her life, though, Faye experienced losses that the people around her could not relate to. "At the bottom level," she says, "we face letting go alone, in the night. It's really about hope." · Learn to Accept Children grow up and leave home; relationships evolve and people move on. This is life. As put by actor William B. Davis: "It struck me while I was sitting here; everything changes but the sea." There is a season to everything, and the timing of change is usually not within our control. Looking back, you will likely realize that you also had no say when that particular relationship or situation began. C.A. Dowler is a career and business mentor. In talking about her process of letting go, she points out: "As I had no control over when and how that wonderful thing came into my life, I have no right to now hold on to it when it's ready to go." There IS a gap in your life. What you feel is the absence of what you had before. Yet it is only through acceptance that you can let in the new, whether it's another person or set of circumstances. · Embrace the New When a toddler reaches for something different, she can easily drop the thing she was holding. Releasing is something we are able to do naturally, but as we grow older we learn to hang on tight. Part of the reason is our longing for the familiar and our fear of the unknown. We don't know what lies around the next corner, or if we can ever again find the happiness we see ourselves losing. It takes courage to really let go. You have to trust that what is now coming into your life is what you most need. Then take a deep breath, and let yourself turn another page. Copyright © 2003 by Thelma Mariano About The Author Thelma Mariano, life coach and author, is dedicated to bringing clarity and direction to people's lives. See her on-line coaching programs, articles and column at www.u-unlimited.ca" target="_new">http://www.u-unlimited.ca.
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The Ant Philosophy Over the years I've been teaching kids about a simple but powerful concept - the ant philosophy.I think everybody should study ants. All Is Going Well? The true test in life does not occur when all is going well. The true test takes place when we are faced with challenges. Where You Can Find Sympathy Ask any of my kids and they'll tell you immediately that you'll find it in the dictionary between "sh-" and "syphilis". Wasn't that absolutely cruel and unkind of me to instill in them a nearly total distain for the concept of "sympathy"? With so many individuals in the world suffering in so many ways, how could I possibly be so heartless? I am without a doubt, an uncaring, evil SOB!Well, maybe not. Weapons of Mass Distraction Anything that draws one away from the business of living and being worthy - such as drugs, alcohol, distractions of all descriptions, and sleep when the intent is oblivion, not to mention the idea of killing oneself - is a means of escaping, a little death, and death itself is the ultimate escape.Anything can be a means of avoiding problems. Transform Old Grumpy This is a true story. A woman had Snow White and the Seven dwarfs in her yard as lawn ornaments. The 5 Fortunes Within What could be nearer to us than our own selves. What could be a greater fortune to discover than our own love. Here is The Inspirational Wisdom From The Masters Have you always wanted to do invent something, create something, improve the lives of other people, write a book, meet the partner of your dreams, and make more money. Here is some inspiration for you then. Love Thy Neighbor I would like to take a moment to write about our neighbors. We all have them. Its Better to Give than to Receive "It's better to give than to receive." You've probably heard that popular saying. What Forgiveness Is Not Is a grudge-laden heart sabotaging your success in business and in life?Much has been written over the ages about the value of forgiveness. And yet so many people continue to resist the idea of forgiving their transgressors. Practice Being Like a Child Remember the master teacher once said 2000 years ago, "Unless you can become like little children, your chances are zero, you haven't got a prayer." A major consideration for adults. There Is Always Room For Improvement When I was twelve my parents bought me a five foot snooker table for my birthday. This turned out to be the best present I was ever bought and I quickly became hooked on the game. Finding Hope In Trying Times Growing up, as a child of the 60's, peace, love and harmony were the words being chanted by the hippies, flower children and all who questioned authority and were against the Vietnam War. I remember thinking how I couldn't wait to grow up. Myth And Reality Direct Answers - Column for the week of February 2, 2004I am at a complete loss about what to do with my mother-in-law to be. In a nutshell, she's verbally abusive. Case Closed Direct Answers - Column for the week of October 27, 2003I met my boyfriend on an online dating service four months ago. About a month ago I went to the dating service website to take my profile off. Never Jump to Conclusions Human mind which is well known as a fluctuating prodigy presumes itself to be a great judge. It is so natural for the mind to judge anything that appears to it especially so in the case of other human beings. Anam Chara - Living A Life Of Value Much of our lives we spend comparing what "me" has with what "you" has. Usually this is to the detriment of "me. Improving Your Self Esteem Often in our society, we are bombarded with the lives of celebrities. We can end up feeling that if we are not part of the rich and famous, our lives are insignificant. Have a Green Day, Every Day! Green symbolises growth. Growth requires change and transformation. Fighting Grief: The Time To Show You Care The news came as a shock to us all. He who had been ill for days had been taken to the hospital.
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