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A Bit Of Turbulence
Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 1, 2002 I'm a 26-year-old flight attendant engaged to be married in 10 weeks. Our wedding reception was to be held in a marquee in my in-laws' garden. On Saturday night my future mother-in-law flipped out at my fiancé for wanting to marry me. On Sunday she verbally attacked me at their house. This woman, who is very unhappy with her husband, claims I am used goods, a gold digger, and not good enough for her son. My future father-in-law doesn't say much, as he can't handle his wife, but everyone else is happy for us. I have one disadvantage in that I met my fiancé through his youngest brother, who I dated briefly. Since we did not see any future in the relationship, we stayed friends. My fiancé, a lawyer, loves me very much and thanks his brother for introducing us! I come from a close loving family and find this very difficult. We've been engaged eight months, and everything seemed to be going well. I don't know what to do about our wedding. My fiancé would like to try for a reconciliation, but I don't know if I can forgive her after a scene full of such hatred. Marissa Marissa, as a flight attendant, you must have dealt with many angry, unhappy people. A delay at the ticket counter, a business deal gone awry, and you became a target. Your prospective mother-in-law is a bitter woman. She knows you are in no position to retaliate. You are like the employee of a business who must control her tongue before a rude customer. Only the owner of the business is free to say, "Go somewhere else!" Usually we recommend being forthright in stating feelings lest the person making the scene be allowed to win. However, in this case it may not be necessary. Everyone knows what the situation is. When you are around this woman, you can use the pleasant manner you use at work, play deaf, or give simple, factual responses. The most important thing is this. Your future mother-in-law must understand she is not the deciding factor in whether you marry her son. The sooner she understands she has no power to stop this, the better. You must also be prepared to move the wedding to another location, even at the last moment, if that becomes necessary. In one way, this situation is an excellent opportunity. It is a chance for your fiancé to demonstrate he is free from his mother's apron strings and ready to take a wife. Wayne & Tamara A Dubious Admission Please explain my wife's actions if you can. In 10 years of marriage we overcame many obstacles and roadblocks. Perhaps the largest one was my inability to come clean to my wife when I may have erred. Finally I took the major step forward she pleaded for so long. Should I not feel anger when she says now it's over and done with? Isn't this a case where the best thing is to let her go and get on with my life? Lewis Lewis, you're right. The best thing is to let her go and get on with your life. The saying which fits is "too little, too late." When you noticed some subtle change in your wife, unconsciously you knew she'd left the relationship emotionally, though she hadn't left physically. Only when she was halfway out the door could you admit you "may" have erred. You wouldn't change until it came down to your last chance, and you are mad she didn't warn you time was up. But the truth is if she wasn't leaving, you wouldn't consider change. If now she stayed, you'd think change was unnecessary. If you can't admit you're wrong, if you can't say you're sorry, chances are your life will repeat itself. When we can't admit our mistakes, the same mistakes keep happening. Wayne About The Author Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com" target="_new">www.WayneAndTamara.com. Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
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Fulfilling Your Dreams: The Magic Of Starting Fulfilling your dreams will remain a mirage if you simply sit down and dream on.You may have a dream of attaining financial freedom to go after your dreams, instead of doing what you have to do, to get bills paid and put food on the table. The Fighting Father This man is an Anglican priest but with a difference. You would not want to offend him put it that way. Lifetime of Discoveries: Moments of Peace and Renewal There are discoveries all around us—small gifts of joy that bring moments of peace and renewal.Yet it is easy to miss the small things of uncommon value and inspiration—the cycles of life in a thriving forest, the perfection of a brilliant flower, the purposefulness of a delicate butterfly, or the spiritual beauty within another soul. A Pickup Line Direct Answers - Column for the week of November 11, 2002I just started a wonderful new job. The atmosphere is laid-back, and the people alone make the place fantastic. Even the Smallest Sound You are probably in front of your computer screen at this very moment, reading every word I have written.So. Life is Art In my years teaching people to be successful, I have seen that basically people break their lives down in to two major parts: Wealth-building and the rest of their lives. Having done a lot of reflection on these two topics - wealth and life - I am coming to some new conclusions about how to perceive the two. How to Guarantee a GREAT Day Every Day! I have a standing interview every Monday morning on a radio station in the southeast that I enjoy very much. You can imagine though that it can become routine. Anchors Away! If we want to fill our heads with the doom and gloom society seems to thrive on, all we need to do is turn on the local news at night. To make that quantum leap toward personal happiness and success in life, sometimes we just need to do what so many people seem to be talking about lately: clean house and take personal inventory of the people we associate with most. The Good, The Bad and The Ugly Whoever coined this phrase is a genius. Life finds ways to dish out exactly this- the good the bad and the ugly. Tighten Your Connection It was my first and last experience with a pneumatic drill, which is a jackhammer with a star bit instead of a chisel bit. We four volunteers were to dig a septic tank for the caretaker's house at a Christian camp. Healing The Abandonment Wounds I have counseled individuals, couples, families and business partners for the past 35 years and authored eight published books. Every individual I've worked with has had some abandonment wound to heal, and most relationship problems stem from abandonment wounds. No More Frustration: The Thorns of Opportunity - Part II The quest for the ultimate victory.In part one I shared with you how not knowing what you don't know, much like the "thorny" gardener, can rob you of your time, and keep you from enjoying and living the life you want. Leading a World Class Life Every four years the world is given the gift of the Olympics. For a few weeks nations lay down their arms and come together to let their world class athletes compete on a level playing field to see who the best is in the many events. Blessings for the Soul In Corrogue I count my Blessings.These are numerous. Are You Tired of Being Stuck? All you want is a little more.More money, more love, more fun, more friends. Be a Star in Your Own Life Do you have the charactertics to be star in their own life? What characteristics below do you have or don't have already? Give each item a rating from 1 to 10 with 10 being you have this charactertics 100%.1. Its About That Time As we've reached the half way point of the year I'm thinking this might be a good time to pull up and evaluate things. Look back over the first 6 months, and look ahead to the upcoming days and months. Life After Death: The Story of the Green Donkey This is the true story of what Deepak Chopra would call a "Whopper". It is a story so touched with the hand of God it seems almost impossible to believe, and yet, there can be NO doubt for those of us who are believers that this really happened!My best friend passed into Spirit on May 15, 2004 at the age of 45, after a 10 year battle with HER-2 Breast Cancer. Abundance Is A Life Style Abundance is a life style, a way of living your life. Itisn't something you buy now and then or pull down from thecupboard, dust off and use once or twice, and then return tothe cupboard. Money or Faith? I've been to 64-countries, and yes money comes in handy, and goes quickly (and is useful and has its influence), I've had a ton of it at one time or another and an ounce of faith, and I'll take faith any day-why? I'll explain. Anybody who has been in a combated zone, under fire will tell you: '?keep the money, I need faith right now.
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