Two Drops Of Water


Direct Answers - Column for the week of June 17, 2002

My problem is that I am falling in love. My friend and I are both 23. He lives in the United States, seven hours away from where I live in Canada. Just yesterday I came back from seeing him again.

I always have such a wonderful time, but this time on the trip home I started missing him as if a part of myself was also missing. It was such a sad and empty feeling I wished I didn't have to come home.

We share romantic feelings, and when we are together, those feelings are expressed in displays of affection and acts of kindness. We hold hands and kiss, he pays for my meals and takes the day off work to drive me around.

The boundaries between friends and more than friends have blurred between us, and now as I get to know him more, I find I am becoming involved deeper and deeper.

We are both aware we care for each other, but I have not told him how intense my feelings have become. We have differences, distance and religion. Before he met me, the religious aspect ended a relationship because they were unable to agree how to raise a family.

With myself religion is not an issue. I would be okay raising children in another religion. I want to express what I feel, but I do not know how to talk to him without scaring him. I am afraid of the vulnerability which comes with this. I do not want to get hurt, but even more, I do not want to miss the opportunity to be with him.

Petula

Petula, I once loved a woman with whom I had a mostly business relationship, but I was moving away permanently. Still, I couldn't leave without telling her I loved her, and a little speech rehearsed itself in my mind, almost against my will.

When I went to see her for the last time, she was busy and asked me to step into another room and help myself to coffee. On a table was a letter telling of her love for me. That woman was Tamara. We met in an embrace and have been together ever since.

With the greatest risk comes the greatest reward. One of the most important lessons of life is learning not to let fear ruin our chances for happiness. If you share your feelings and they aren't reciprocated, you will be devastated. For a while. But you will also be closer to finding the person with whom you can share love for a lifetime.

Wayne

The Glue

I went abroad for a year and dated a man a few years my senior. The man I met is Irish, like myself.

I miss him terribly and keep telling him this on the phone, which seems to be really annoying him. I try my best not to, but I can't help myself. He recently sent a present for my birthday. He sent the receipt also, and without thinking I gave out about it.

What I said came out completely wrong. I apologized, but he stopped ringing me completely. I know pressuring wasn't helping, but I just love to hear from him. I've been a jealous person for as long as I remember.

He told me his former girlfriend was the prettiest girl in the county. He left her because she did the dirt on him, but that made me uneasy as well. Could you please help? I love him to bits and don't want to lose him.

Erin

Erin, the essence of jealousy is "it's mine." The essence of love is "it is meant to be." Your pursuit is pushing this man away. Stop chasing him. If he comes back, remember a person is not a possession. Love is the glue in a relationship. When it is gone, so is the relationship.

Tamara

About The Author

Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com" target="_new">www.WayneAndTamara.com.

Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.


MORE RESOURCES:

Mark Halperin's Take: The Digital President Loses Two Rounds
TIME
As a candidate, he was all high-tech cool, from Facebook to inspirational viral videos (think the Black Eyed Peas' will.i.am) to electronic voter outreach. ...

and more »


New York Times

Marveling at Wonders Out of This World
New York Times
The images on view at a remarkable exhibition at the National Air and Space Museum here could well serve as inspirational space cards for this century. ...

and more »


Ex-New York Giants star Michael Strahan predicts strong season from Keith ...
ESPN
Seeing from afar, he was always inspirational and always played hard and one of the guys you really admire of how he handles himself on and off the field. ...

and more »


Inspirational pair sail through epic coastal journey
Milford Mercury
The Thorne Mason Trust also provides support and information to people affected by any type of cancer. A session takes place at Crundale Community Centre on ...



Museum to host 'USS Puffer' author
Herald Times Reporter
For more information or to register, call (920) 686-1436, or go to www.hopehousemc.org. MANITOWOC — The Manitowoc Jaycees have launched a new type of ...

and more »


This week in Change
Salon
Frakes' group touts billboards on its website that portray a range of messages from inspirational Ronald Reagan quotes to a picture of President Obama ...

and more »


Russell Davies Appointed Head of Planning, Ogilvy EMEA
PR Newswire (press release)
I know that he will be a magnet for talent and an inspirational leader". Hugh Baillie, Chief Executive of the Ogilvy Group in the UK added: "Clients are ...

and more »


2010 Addressing Psoriasisâ„¢ Contest Winners Attend a Style Consultation with ...
PR Newswire (press release)
Entries were judged based solely on the inspirational nature of their story, and not on the entrants' use of specific treatment options. ...

and more »


Songs of Solomon Inspirational Ensemble Performs July 29 at USU
The Statesman
Harlem based performing company Songs of Solomon Inspirational Ensemble will perform a concert Thursday, July 29, in the Performance Hall on the Utah State ...

and more »


Community Calendar
Cheraw Chronicle
For more information call the YMCA at 843-623-9622. Members of the Sawmill Missionary Baptist Church will have their annual revival. ...


Google News

lincolnhsbrooklyn.com ©