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Reality Check
Direct Answers - Column for the week of September 16, 2002 Two years ago I made the greatest mistake of my life. I started dating a coworker. She is this beautiful young girl that totally captivated my world when I met her. As time went by I realized we have almost nothing in common, including music, food, sports, movies, and outdoor activities, to name just a few. Worst of all, there is no passion between us. Furthermore, I do not feel welcomed at her house, and I don't fit within her circle of friends for two reasons. I'm seven years older and come from South America. Although I learned to speak English, I have difficulties saying what's on my mind, and when I mispronounce a word, I become the clown of the crowd. When I mention how we aren't meant for each other, she becomes very emotional and begs me not to finish it. You may wonder, what's the big deal, just break it up if it's not working. I don't find that easy. We not only work in the same place, but she sits next to me. I have the kind of job that comes only once in a lifetime. It would be hard to quit, but it would be hard to break up and see each other unless I quit. She is a wonderful girl, but we aren't meant for each other. It hurts me more than anything when she asks if I love her and I lie through my teeth. What a mess, eh? Javier Javier, you have nothing in common, there is no spark between you, and her friends belittle you. That is the reality. She wants the relationship to continue. That is unreality. An ancient prayer says "lead me from the unreal to the real." That statement applies to everything, including relationships. The relationship you two have is not a job relationship. It is a personal relationship. You don't need to give up your job over this, but if you don't act, what happens will come back to haunt you. Accept that there will be some discomfort at work for awhile. Your letter reminds us of so many others. One man told us he just needed a date to a fraternity party. He inched toward marriage with a woman he didn't love, and they created two children. A woman recounted how she begged her mom, when her suitor called, "Tell him I'm not here!" They married and had four children. Each marriage ended in divorce. Each divorce was initiated by the person who wanted the marriage. Realize that a person who prolongs a relationship you don't want, will leave the relationship when they no longer want it. That is the path you are on. Wayne and Tamara The First Step If a guy sees or knows a girl he fancies, and if he is a bit shy in asking her out, is there any other way he could do it? Paul Paul, inaction turns things into monsters when they are not. Vacillation, fantasy and worry immobilize us, but doing a thing resolves a thing. Each day millions of guys ask girls out. Sometimes the girl says yes, sometimes no. Either way, the world keeps turning. The playing field is more level than you realize. You may be hesitant to ask, but girls often feel stuck, waiting to be asked. We are never guaranteed the end result. We won't know what will happen until we act. That's life. Part of getting the job is going to the interview. Part of scoring the goal is taking the field. Part of getting the girl is asking the girl. You could send flowers and a note, but why not be direct? Clean your slate and move forward. You're not asking for a kidney or a pint of blood, just a date. Taking action sets you on the path to success, whether this particular girl says yes or no. Tamara About The Author Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com" target="_new">www.WayneAndTamara.com. Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
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Change is the Only Constant The physics professor with the unruly shock of white hair strolls up to the blackboard, picks up the chalk, and writes a big tilde, then below it an equally large equal sign-thus creating the symbol for "approximately equals."Turning to the amphitheater full of eager students and pointing to the board, he smiles, "Ladies and gentlemen, there is only one ting dot is certain in zee known universe. The Seasons Of Life, Part 4 of 5 This week is Part Four of our five part series on The Season's of Life.In Part One of the series we discussed:a) That life is about constant, predictable patterns of change. Everyone Has Been Hurt... Part 4 Continued.. The TOP 5 Things That Keep You From Success Everyone wants to be rich. A lot of people want to be successful. Labor That Works Miracles (excerpted from The Challenge to Succeed series)Two thousand years ago on April 15th one of Jesus' disciples came to him and said it was time to pay taxes (that's how I know it was around April 15th), but they had no money. In response to his disciple's statement Jesus said "no problem". Flashh! I Thought I Saw A Puddy Cat! Have you ever had one of those flashes of inspiration? Have you ever just had one of those "knowings" down in the pit of your stomach? No, I don't mean after a big bowl of beans. That's not what I'm talking about. Starting A New Disaster Relief Program I believe that it is an amazing time in our history. Mankind is truly showing his/her capabilities, they are observable because all thoughts are brought into physical being as symbols of thought. Go Ahead... Journal! (Taking Time To Record My Souls Journey With God) Imagine sitting down in a relaxed setting -- a setting you love -- opening a publication, and discovering that you are totally relating to the heart and soul of the author.You relate to the style, "flow," struggles, concerns, joys and dreams of the one whose creation now lies in front of you. Stand Up! One of the most undervalued blessings is God's will to make every individual a unique creation. It takes all kinds of people to do the great work of the Lord's kingdom, and it's a good thing that each of us has special talents, callings, and gifts to serve this purpose. Call To Action Direct Answers - Column for the week of February 3, 2003I need some advice, please! I've been married to the same man for 11 years. He's a nice person when he's not drinking. Inspired Intuition - Following Your Inner Voice "Some people call the still, small voice insight or intuition?Our insight is a gift from God, not to be taken lightly or for granted.. Just One Person We All Need I understand that all the self made people of this world, be it:the late Abraham Lincoln, former President of the United States, who failed at most levels in his early life. This can de-motivate even the strongest people in the world, but he continued and became the President. The Beauty of Life "An unexamined life is not worth living."-- SocratesI have just finished reading a most astounding statement from A. Keep on Keeping on! Whenever we are working on our dreams we are going to run into some road blocks or obstacles. The important thing for us to remember is that these are only temporary set backs. Sixty-Second Caring "How are you doing?" you ask. There's a pause before the reply. Reality Check Direct Answers - Column for the week of September 16, 2002Two years ago I made the greatest mistake of my life. I started dating a coworker. Anamchara - Living From A Deep Place I live in a beautiful place.This is the village of Dowra and the outlying town lands of Corrogue and Moneen. The Thief of Fulfillment Why does this happen?It's all to do with the way the subconscious perceives survival. It knows that you are in a safe position and that survival is more or less guaranteed if you carry on in the same way. Discover Your Passion What are you passionate about? We didn't ask if you are passionate. But what are you passionate about? What stirs your emotions? What is it you can't stop talking about whenever someone asks: "What are you passionate about?" What's the fire in your belly? What really turns you on? What do you love doing most?What is it that you love doing so much that you forget time? You forget others. Whats Simple? If you walk up to a stranger in the grocery store and ask them to define "simple," as in "simple life," they'll probably say something like "having less stuff." Or they might hit you with a frozen turkey.
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