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Lesson Learned
Direct Answers - Column for the week of December 9, 2002 I was involved with a man separated from his wife. We connected on an extremely emotional level and were in the process of building a future. His wife left him and their two children to accept a job in another state and to experience a more unencumbered life. Prior to leaving she cheated on him three times and was emotionally and physically unavailable to her children. Unfortunately I let myself get drawn into his life and his children's lives. I not only fell in love with him but also with the children. I was devastated when he accepted her back with no questions asked, but I accept responsibility for getting involved and for the consequences of my actions. At the death of a loved one, when her family needed her most, she again abandoned her husband and children. As I predicted. He contacted me to let me know I was right. As much as I hoped that would bring satisfaction, it didn't. It brought only deep sadness. There is nothing I can do to make him see her for who she is. How do I find peace knowing this cycle of coming and going will continue in his life? I want what is best for all of them. I know walking away is best for me, and I guess I am looking for confirmation from an objective outside source. Tia Tia, in "A Christmas Carol" by Charles Dickens, three ghosts come to Ebenezer Scrooge and alter the course of his life. For you, the ghost was your companion's wife. There is a line Scrooge says which we have never forgotten. "Men's courses will foreshadow certain ends, to which, if persevered in, they must lead. But if the courses be departed from, the ends will change.'' That is what the story is about. It is also the story of our lives. With the holidays approaching, it will be hard for you not to think about what might have been. But with the holidays approaching, his wife may well reappear. Even if she doesn't, her specter will never be far off, and he will be open to her return. Hard as it is to walk away, it shows you understand the lesson from Dickens' tale. Walking away opens the door to possibilities. It opens the door to your fulfillment and to the promise of the new year. Wayne & Tamara A Love Story My name is Winnie. I am 15 years old. I am in love. I know it has to be love! I spent the whole day yesterday with this guy I have liked for about a month. He is 16. I know he likes me, too. Well, at least I hope so. He flirts with me all the time. I want to call and talk to him about my feelings, but I am not sure how to word it. Every time I see him I get butterflies in my stomach, and every other problem in the world seems to go away. Can you please tell me what to do, or at least, what to say? Winnie Winnie, every story has a beginning, a middle and an end. You're at the beginning of the story now, and it's such a good beginning you want to rush to the end, read the last chapter, and see how it turns out. At least you want to tell this boy how it should end. But by skipping to the end and telling him your feelings, you will miss the middle part where things develop and the plot gets interesting. Let the story unfold in its own way. If you've already spent a whole day with him, you don't have problems talking to each other. We're pretty sure he knows you like him a lot. That's enough for now. By letting things unfold in their own time, you won't spoil the ending. Wayne & Tamara About The Author Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com" target="_new">www.WayneAndTamara.com. Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
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Stay With It! I walked out of his office inspired. All I could immediately recall were those soft-spoken words, "STAY WITH IT". Money or Faith? I've been to 64-countries, and yes money comes in handy, and goes quickly (and is useful and has its influence), I've had a ton of it at one time or another and an ounce of faith, and I'll take faith any day-why? I'll explain. Anybody who has been in a combated zone, under fire will tell you: '?keep the money, I need faith right now. Let Change Be Your Friend, Mentor, and Inspiration People have a tendency of anticipating pending change on the assumption that it will be bad. Such focus on the negatives contribute to unnecessary fears of change, even when there is really not much, if anything, to fear. Unintended Consequences Direct Answers - Column for the week of May 26, 2003My sister is celebrating her tenth anniversary this summer, and I'm concerned she is letting her relationship go. Her husband refuses to acknowledge any problems and doesn't believe in counseling. The Good, The Bad and The Ugly Whoever coined this phrase is a genius. Life finds ways to dish out exactly this- the good the bad and the ugly. Who Is Wallace Wattles and Why Is He One of My Mentors and Heroes? Who is Wallace Wattles? Wallace D. Wattles died over 90 years ago so how can he be one of my mentors and heroes?I had been studying the works of some of the most famous self-improvement 'gurus' of recent times and several of them mentioned the book 'The Science Of Getting Rich' as the starting point of their own success. Triumphing Over Tough Times Right now many people are facing tough times. Life as we once knew it has changed and we may find ourselves confronting situations we have never dealt with before. Following Through Direct Answers - Column for the week of March 24, 2003My final divorce papers sit in front of me waiting for my signature. In fact, they've been sitting on my desk for five days now. The Eyes of the Clown There are few enough miracles in life, God knows. I think perhaps the circus is one of them. Being Fruitful Over the years I've learned to challenge my audiences to turn their response to the ideas and information they receive into results. According to the Christian story, the first couple, Adam and Eve, was instructed to be fruitful - produce some results. Impaired Judgment Direct Answers - Column for the week of September 23, 2002My husband has a twofold addiction problem, drinking and drugs. In the six years we have been married, he has had periods of sobriety, but they don't ever last. Those Who Sleep Get Sliced Chang lived in Flushing, Queens. Every afternoon he rode the train into Manhattan to work in the post office. Create Your Own Self Esteem - Part 2 The good part of this story is that there is now hope to end and effectively reverse the effects of all negative emotions that we individually and collectively experience in our lives. Now we come back to the word reversal I spoke about earlier. The Pursuit of Greatness On June 3rd, 1948, a blast rocked the Black Hills of South Dakota. Ten tons of stone were dislodged from the mountainside and tumbled to the earth below. Perception My friend Donald said to me one evening, "this is what I admire about you, whenever you say you're gonna to do something, YOU DO IT"! People always ask me how do I stay motivated? How do I stay encouraged? Whenever I am asked this question my answer is always the same. I tell them that I stay focused and motivated by remaining in an autopilot mode. Are You Tired of Being Stuck? All you want is a little more.More money, more love, more fun, more friends. Night of the Living Dead For many people, life has become as dull and despairing as death. We suffer from spiritual inertia. Growing From Good To Great I have never been fond of white-water rafting, probably because I don't like cold water. The sport consists of a raft, fast moving cold water, raft riders, and a raft leader/guide. Delay Can Reveal Doubts Confident Expectation! The feeling of 'confidence' is the assurance that your desire IS on its way. And getting to that place where we have no doubt is one reason why there is often a delay in receiving what we know is coming. Moment of Grace The bedrock of the Christian faith is the good news about God's love. Christian teachings about who we are and about our relationship with our Lord and each other is rooted in the fact that God is love and that He loves His creatures.
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