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Material Girl
Direct Answers - Column for the week of December 16, 2002 I recently went on a date with this guy I met online. We had been emailing for a few weeks before we decided to go out together. We met at a restaurant, and he brought me a huge vase of flowers. He was sweet, polite and gentlemanly toward me and our conversation was good. But I felt embarrassed by all the attention given to me by the waitresses and bus staff regarding the flowers. That's not even the whole story. You see, at the end of the date, this guy drove me home and got this huge box out of the trunk. He said he had gotten something else besides the flowers. We went in the house, I opened the box, and it was a DVD player! I told him I couldn't accept such an expensive gift, but he refused to take it back. My family keeps telling me to give it back to him, and that it is morally wrong to keep it. I told him how I felt about the flowers and DVD player, and he just said he gets carried away sometimes. I don't want to date him anymore, but because he and I have a lot in common I thought we could be friends. He has agreed to be friends, but I still have the DVD player! Part of me wants to keep it because I've wanted one for so long, but I could never afford it because I am unemployed. I want to do the right thing and give it back, but then again, I want so much to be able to keep it. What do you think? Ramona Ramona, people who give something "over the top," usually expect something in return. That something is usually a thing you would not have given freely in the beginning. When you create a chink in what is acceptable, you open yourself to all kinds of consequences, and you create a propensity in yourself to act weakly. Accepting this gift makes you look bad. It makes it appear your standards depend on the price being right. Perhaps the greatest advantage of writing an advice column is this. We get to see so many patterns of behavior repeated again and again. The behavior we see in your letter often ends in one of two places. Either you become vulnerable to men who think they can buy what they want from you, or you end up married to a man you didn't even want to date. Send it back. Tamara Catching Fleas In February 2002 my friend Helen asked to borrow money or the bank would take her house. The money Helen borrowed I was saving for new carpet in my house. When I asked for it back, she said she lent the money to her friend Sandi, who is having an affair on her husband. Helen promised to repay the loan once Sandi repays her. Helen is also having an affair, and I even covered for her with her husband by saying she was with me. In August I charged the carpet on a no-interest, no-payment credit card. If I don't get the money back by February 2003, I owe the whole amount plus six months of finance charges. If I take Helen to court, all of this including her cheating will come out in the wash. What can I do to save this friendship and get my money back? Karen Karen, we make our own future, but in a way so subtle most of us can't figure it out. Involving yourself with deceitful people in a web of deceit was bound to come back to haunt you. If you lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas. Perhaps a lawyer could help. But if you can't get your money returned, consider it the most valuable lesson you have learned in a long, long time. Wayne About The Author Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com" target="_new">www.WayneAndTamara.com. Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
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A Lesson From A Hum Of A Bamboo Clump Have you heard a nature hymn? For example, a whir of ting-a-ling-a-ling sound yielded by bamboo leaves when wind blows to its clump? If you have an opportunity to visit a bamboo garden, try to listen to its hymn. The trees of a bamboo clump will sing along with the wind. Its About That Time As we've reached the half way point of the year I'm thinking this might be a good time to pull up and evaluate things. Look back over the first 6 months, and look ahead to the upcoming days and months. Thoughts Are Like Seeds - Are You Planting Flowers or Weeds? "You can't harvest what you don't sow. So plant your desires, gently nurture them and they will be rewarded with abundance. Doing the Remarkable When it comes to meeting and conquering the negativity in your life, here is a key question: what can you do, starting today, that will make a difference? What can you do during economic chaos? What can you do when everything has gone wrong? What can you do when you've run out of money, when you don't feel well and it's all gone sour? What can you do?Let me give you the broad answer first. You can do the most remarkable things, no matter what happens. Have You Lost Focus? Matthew 5:14-16You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Mirror, Mirror -- What Do I See? "A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world. The True and Magnificent Power of Giving You've probably heard of the popular saying "It's better to give than to receive." But do you actually know what hidden power lies within this magnanimous act known as "giving?"When you give something from your heart without expecting anything in return, you release a powerful force that will trigger your good deed to "bounce" back to you in amazing, and sometimes unusual ways. Are You Afraid of Change? Change, no matter how you cut it, can certainly be a daunting task. There are so many ways to change; your image, attitude, environment, perceptions, addictions, and how you treat others. Virtual Chocolate A second on your lips forever on your hips never happens with virtual chocolate. Chocolate begins from a seed. One of Lifes Great Lessons - Learn to be Thankful for What You Already Have (excerpted from the New Jim Rohn Weekend Event DVD/CD series)Is thankfulness a survival skill? Perhaps most of you would respond with, "No, Jim, thankfulness is not key to survival", and I would tend to agree with you. Most of us have probably already solved the necessary problems of survival, gone beyond that and are now working to achieve our desires. Spirits Language: How to Tell Whos Who in Your Inner Conversations Your Spirit is continuously beaming communications to you. As long as your mind is properly receptive to your Spirit, this vital communication is received. Fear, Faith, and Believing vs. Knowing Fear is deeply rooted in uncertainty. Think about it; the only you've ever feared was the unknown. Rightful Owner Direct Answers - Column for the week of January 20, 2003I was recently looking through some old photos when I found some of an ex-boyfriend when he was a child. I remember him telling me at the time these were the only photos that exist of him as a child, and that these are the only copies. The Dead Direct Answers - Column for the week of February 9, 2004I love my wife with all my heart and soul. She is now and will ever be the other half of my heart. What Will I Do When I Grow Up? Says The 45 Year Old Woman I have always rather envied those people who have a burning vocation; they knew the career they wanted to follow and went for it. If, like me, you have never really known what you want to do, the years fly past and you still have to earn a living. What an Artist Experiences When Working With the Angels I am an Angel artist on a passionate spiritual journey and I would like to share my story of what it is like to work with the Angels. It is a unique experience and very real. Four Words that Make Life Worthwhile Over the years as I've sought out ideas, principles and strategies to life's challenges, I've come across four simple words that can make living worthwhile.First, life is worthwhile if you Learn. Finding Hope In Trying Times Growing up, as a child of the 60's, peace, love and harmony were the words being chanted by the hippies, flower children and all who questioned authority and were against the Vietnam War. I remember thinking how I couldn't wait to grow up. Challenge Your Problems Life teaches us in peculiar ways. It knocks us down. Go On ! Give your Enemy a Hug Another preposterous idea from yours truly, even the thought makes some people shudder.My husband had been having difficulty with an old mate, whenever he met him there were sneers and snide comments.
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