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Without Love
Direct Answers - Column for the week of December 30, 2002 Kendra and I have been dating almost six years. For the past three years I have constantly asked myself if she is the one. I can never come up with the answer. I fantasize about being with other women, and it is not because Kendra lacks beauty. I feel disinterested in intimacy with her, but it was not like that in the beginning. If you asked me three years ago I would have told you I was not missing out on anything. Now that cannot be true. I guess the biggest problem in my mind's eye is time. Because we have been together for so long, I'm not sure if I am just staying out of convenience. I am accepted by her family, she is accepted by mine, and our friends think we suit each other perfectly. I asked my mother about her relationship with my father. She explained they were each other's best friend. They share the same goals and that works for them. I asked if their sex life was still strong. My mom said they don't have it nearly as much as in the past, but that it still happens on occasion. Just recently I went away for a month to work out of the country and met Lissete. We connected on many levels. I promised her I would end things with Kendra when I returned home, and at first I felt great about my decision. In the course of a month Lissete and I made plans for her to come here from Holland. Then one morning I awoke from a nightmare and felt sick to my stomach. I felt I made a mistake. I felt sick the entire day until I got the nerve to call Kendra. She agreed to meet. Suddenly I was quick to make things work with Kendra, and we decided to give it a second try. I told Kendra about Lissete. She was upset, of course, but understood it was over in my head. Now here I am, one month later. The first few weeks were great, but I feel us slipping back to where we were. I can only think of the other girl. Lissete was heartbroken and tried to warn me this would happen, but I wouldn't listen. Now I don't know what to do. Kendra will never break up with me, leaving me to do the dirty work if it has to be done. Who is to say I wouldn't have the same sex boredom problem with the other woman. Once again I find myself asking if I should just marry this woman who loves me to death and go on with life. Ward Ward, whoa! Can you hear what you're saying? Things were not right with Kendra so you ended it. You felt you deserved better. Then things were wonderful with Lissete until you felt the burden of her arrival. Getting back together with Kendra was the easiest way to prevent that, but breaking up again is not dirty work. It is solving a problem you created. People say the grass is always greener on the other side, but that is not quite right. It is only when things are wrong in our own yard that the other side looks more inviting. What gives things value is our emotional attachment to them. It is what makes a job not a job but a calling. But without that emotional connection things always get boring. Without love there is no lasting passion. What you love you can do again and again, never getting bored. It isn't boring to be with someone you really love. If your passion is horses, you never get bored with horses. The movie you love, you have seen more times than you can count. But movies which are no more than special effects are boring. There is nothing to care about. Wayne & Tamara About The Author Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com" target="_new">www.WayneAndTamara.com. Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
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The Priceless Gift of a Knee-High Smile She was just over knee-high standing next to me in the checkout line. I first saw her eyeing a display of candy as she followed her mother and brothers through the store. Misplaced Allegiance Direct Answers - Column for the week of June 23, 2003I am male, 30, married for seven years. I have two small children. Self Acceptance - Lessons From My Hair Affair For our diet and, indeed, in every aspect of our lives, we must remember to relax from the demands of the unrealistic ideal. For those trying to lose weight, you cannot be the Barbie. Its Not Always About the Benjamins, Baby Often when I receive emails from this list with folks, Telling me that they have discovered their life's purpose but they don't have the money to do what they need to start living their purpose.Please, please, please do not let your lack of money stand in the way of you living the life that God has planned for you to live. Your True Talent Will Set You Free When you get home from work, do you feel enriched, fulfilled and empowered? Or does it seem like you just finished an uphill battle on a treadmill? Imagine being paid to do what you love. You could return home feeling as though time stood still. 7 Strategies To Make Room For Money Laws of the Attraction notwithstanding, there are several external ways that you can make room for more money in your life.Yes, there are those of you who can manifest whatever you want, whenever you want. What We Believe We Create - Love is the Creation I once was told by the Angels that our concept of Love would fit on the head of a straight pin and the size of the Universe and more is the love that is felt for us by God and the Angels. If this is so, and I believe that it is . Spiritual Evolution: A Journey of Truth BORN OF BODY AND SPIRITWe are born of the body and of the Spirit. The soul dies to one body of existence and is born unto another. Anything That's Worth Doing, Is Worth Doing Poorly Yes you got it. You read it correctly. Inspiration: Some Things Ive Noticed Along the Way So Far Let's file this one under the heading of random musings and observations, or what I like to call "things I've noticed along the way so far."Of the many things we tend to forget about in our fast paced culture, two of the most important are how to play and how to rest. Random Thoughts on Living Your Best Life More things I've noticed along the way:* Our son's birthday is Sept. 11. The Fuel for Creative Vigor Writing a book or creating a killer headline requires a special blend of imagination, inspiration, and knowledge. Whether the ordeal is like enduring a root canal or soaring on a cloud, depends on how upbeat you are. Do You Suffer From The Chef Personality? As a chef I have a unique perspective on anger.In my time I have worked with the greatest in the finest kitchens of Europe. Just Let 'Em Go! I remember when I was just a little guy probably about 4 or 5 years old, I was fascinated by snakes. Not any particular type of snake - just snakes in general. Switch to a Better Channel! Peril, catastrophe and disaster.These are our friends, allies and mentors. Discover Your Passion What are you passionate about? We didn't ask if you are passionate. But what are you passionate about? What stirs your emotions? What is it you can't stop talking about whenever someone asks: "What are you passionate about?" What's the fire in your belly? What really turns you on? What do you love doing most?What is it that you love doing so much that you forget time? You forget others. Quest for Freedom--A Story Of Pure Courage The Nazis stormed into the house of Stanislavsky Lech, who was Jewish, herded the entire family out at gunpoint, packed them into an overcrowded train, filled with the stench of death and despair, and sent them to Krakow.Then, before his eyes, Lech saw his entire family shot. Do You Have a Vision? You must absolutely have a vision, or a dream, for your life. Your dream is what will cause you to jump out of bed in the morning instead of waking up with anxiety or dread for the day ahead. Financial Freedom Blues Steps to Financial Freedom, roadmap to financial freedom, achieve financial freedom?Financial freedom seems to be the current buzzword in the world of self-improvement. This has spawned a new industry, and alongside it, some curious schemes and fantastic claims of how to achieve financial freedom in months. Martial Arts CHARACTER And the Universal Law of Interdependence - The Keys to Life Mastery, Key #2 In the philosophical teachings which form the foundation for the Ninja Warrior's lifeways, there is a principle known as the 'law of interdependence.' This so-called 'law' is not a must-do rule which one must follow, nor is it to be confused with dependence or co-dependence as it is seen today where one or more individuals who cannot or choose not to provide for themselves, lean on and 'depend' on the work and resources of another for the fulfillment of their needs.
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