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Rightful Owner
Direct Answers - Column for the week of January 20, 2003 I was recently looking through some old photos when I found some of an ex-boyfriend when he was a child. I remember him telling me at the time these were the only photos that exist of him as a child, and that these are the only copies. I want to send the photos to him so his family can have them. I have an old address of his parents. However, I don't want to send them by post with my address on the back of the envelope because I do not want any contact from him or his parents, nor for them to know where I live or work. I'm happily married and desire no further contact from him. If I send the pictures without a return address and they no longer live there, the pictures will be lost forever. It's important for me that his family have these photos. Please help. Pamela Pamela, people love a mystery. If you send the photos anonymously, it may well induce someone to play private investigator. It could also set off a series of unintended effects. Imagine your ex-boyfriend is recently divorced. The arrival of the photos will seem cosmic and spiritual. He'll think divine forces are drawing you back to him. Or if he has not been in touch with his parents, they may think the prodigal son is returning. Or they may even fear he's been kidnapped for ransom. You cannot control other people's reactions, but you can minimize their effect on you, especially if you follow a straightforward course. Send a note with the photos to the parents. Explain to them what you explained to us. Mention that now you are married, you realize the importance of keeping family photos in the family. Use the address of a third party, such as that of a friend in a different city or country, and mention the return address is that of another. Tamara An Open Space I am 48, attractive, active, the mother of a teenage boy and a small business owner. I feel I am responsible, have integrity and am fun to be with. The problem is I have never met, though I have been married twice, the man who was meant to be my partner. I have settled each time out of loneliness. I tried to make it work each time as best I could, and really, if I had seen the effort being given in return, would have made a go of it. But each time it was evident they were not what I hoped for, and yes, the responsibility to become involved was mine. Now I see clearly what I lacked and will never settle again. It just doesn't work! But now I believe I will never find it. I am at an age where men want younger women, and I have truly never met someone I could totally respect. It is a void, no matter how busy or productive I am, I never stop feeling. How can someone rid themselves of this empty feeling? And please do not say be busy and make yourself happy. I do that and it is not working. Evette Evette, we cannot make the empty space in your life go away. The space is there for a reason, and you have twice learned it cannot be filled by just anyone. That space is there for the person who belongs there. That is where that person fits. If you take your son fishing, you cannot guarantee he will catch a fish. But it could happen. He has put himself in the way of catching fish. It is possible. If you are busy in the sense of busywork, you cannot expect anything to happen. But if you are busy in the sense of living, growing and enlarging yourself, you have put yourself in the way of this happening for you. Wayne About The Author Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com" target="_new">www.WayneAndTamara.com. Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
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It Only Takes a Spark - Pass It On Great inspiring people have influenced people in every area of life throughout centuries. Henry David Thoreau, the great 19th century transcendentalist writer, was influenced by the great Ralph Waldo Emerson. Eradicating The Heart of Poverty Poverty can sometimes only be a state of mind, based on our perception and what we value in life. It is also a disheartening reality for many. Blessings and Art of Living My perception is that universe infinitely blesses us every moment. Why we do not acknowledge is that we are not consciously aware of it. Create 10 Delightful Daily Habits Practising extreme self-care in our life involves practising good "daily" habits. Daily habits involve more than just exercising and eating right. Love Thy Neighbor I would like to take a moment to write about our neighbors. We all have them. What If? What If? What if I can't? What If I can? What I should be thinking Is it in God's plan?What if I couldn't? What if I could? Then I start to wonder If I really should?What if I wouldn't? What if I would? What would I do, If others really understood?What if, I am beautiful, Just as I am. That a scale means nothing, When talking to a human. On Track Direct Answers - Column for the week of January 27, 2003I have been involved with a married man for a little while. I am married myself, but it was an arranged marriage and I am very unhappy. The Best Gift to Give Yourself and Others I'm often asked the question, "How can I best help my children, spouse, family member, staff member, friend etc. improve/change?" In fact that might be the most frequently asked question I receive, "How can I help change someone else?"My answer often comes as a surprise and here it is. Safety - Are You OK? Safety is an interesting concept. When we think of safety we almost intuitively think of its opposite, danger. Virtual Chocolate A second on your lips forever on your hips never happens with virtual chocolate. Chocolate begins from a seed. Flaming Fire Within Our Bones Jeremiah was certainly one of the most distinguished notables of the Old Testament. To read his messages and experiences is to become acquainted with a great servant of God. Is Transformation Worth the Effort? Soaring 700 feet above the forest floor is a granite dome two miles long and a mile wide. Stone Mountain, 16 miles east of Atlanta, Georgia, was the ideal site for a memorial to General Robert E. Lifes Purpose To every life, there is a purpose; a purpose of will and a purpose of choice. A choice to make the right or wrong decisions and the will to act on the choices made. Life Lessons I Learned from My Cat Even if you are not a cat person, bear with me, as this story goes far beyond cat mania. Our little tabby cat was frightened and highly-sensitive from the day we rescued her from the SPCA, two and a half years ago. The Eyes of the Clown There are few enough miracles in life, God knows. I think perhaps the circus is one of them. The Brilliant You, Unreleased! You're a remarkable person. But, you knew that already. Encouraging Blossoms of Achievement The tiny dogwood sapling was only a twig when my mother planted it years ago. At age four, with a red wagon and bucket, I was happy to carry water to anything that grew, even to the full grown flowering apple trees in my grandfather's orchard. Directions For Life Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully. Memorize your favorite poem. What Does Faith Have To Do With Marketing? No, this isn't going to be a sermon or anything ? don't worry about that! I'm no preacher, so I wouldn't even think of trying; but what I do have is faith in myself and faith in the fact that I can be successful on the internet.Now, I'm not talking about your regular, everyday take-it-for-granted-because-I-can-do-it" faith in yourself. Victory is an Accomplishment Did you ever watch a bird in flight? Especially ducks or geese as they take off from the water? The take off is not the soaring grace of flight; it is a struggle, an accomplishment to get the bird out of the water and into the air. The REAL victory of flight is not the feat of soaring on air currents to a final destination, once in flight the bird has relative ease from his struggles.
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