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Changing Course
Direct Answers - Column for the week of March 17, 2003 I'm at my wit's end. My wife of 20 years is leaving me. She said she is sick of me always talking at her. She says she doesn't care about money or anything else as long as she can get away from me. I pleaded with her to stay and she stayed one night in the spare room, but she refused to talk further. Next day I returned home from work to an empty house with no idea where anybody was. I was so upset my wife was not home preparing a meal for our teenagers, I went to the restaurant where she works. I am ashamed to say I created more than one scene in more than one place. I am now barred from the restaurant. I'm struggling on my own at home trying for the first time in my life to cook and look after my children, who expect everything to be as their mother did it. I think my daughter understands, but my son is nave. He thinks we can wave a magic wand and make everything right again. How I wish he was right. I even thought about suicide. Glenn Glenn, in old Hollywood movies there was a scene where a girl would fly into hysterics and the male lead would slap her to bring her to her senses. That's where you are now. You are in the "I can't believe this is happening" nightmare. Everything seems unreal, and you don't know what to do next. But you have an ally. Your ally is time. Mavis Hetherington did the largest study of divorce in the United States. In her book "For Better or For Worse," she says, "Things will probably get worse over the course of this first year, then improve radically." Life is so precious you can't consider hurting yourself because that is the most crippling thing you could do to your children. Beyond that, the greatest harm you could do to yourself is not to let your life unfold. Move through this with fresh eyes. Your life is not falling apart. It is changing. With change comes the possibility of finding the joy and satisfaction and love which were not present in your marriage. The way you feel today is not the way you will feel tomorrow, next week, or next month. Take care of your children. This can be the beginning of the life you were meant to live. Tamara Parting Shots My husband and I have agreed to divorce, and both of us are still in the family home. He is a retired government attorney. I am a real estate agent. Like all real estate agents, my income is very hit or miss. We have his pension and our property investment coming in on a monthly basis. I don't trust my husband to be up front about all our assets. He incorporated with partners, and he's always kept our real estate investments and business very much to himself. I am sure you have heard all this before, but I would like not to be in the poor house when this is over. Just fair would be the best. Charlotte Charlotte, when you deal with other people, it's best to act in accordance with who they are. If you are dealing with a kind person who always thinks of others, you act one way. If you are dealing with someone selfish and secretive, you act another. It doesn't matter that you once shared a bed. In olden days a man-of-war would fire a shot across the bow of another ship as a signal to stop, so they could have a chat. There is no reason why your divorce should be acrimonious, but you need a lawyer to represent your best interests. He can fire a shot across your husband's bow, so the two of them can stop for a chat. Wayne About The Author Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com" target="_new">www.WayneAndTamara.com. Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
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Iron Man Inspiration - Raise The Ceiling On What You Can Achieve The Florida Iron Man involves swimming 2.4 miles, biking 112 miles and running 26. In Search For Wealth My eldest son phoned me the other night to let me know that he and his partner was going to have a baby. When I got the news, I was more excited then he was. Borne Upon the Wings of Words How often do you have opportunities every day to exercise your power of communication--encouraging a coworker, appreciating a spouse, guiding a child?Whenever I visit the Washington, DC area, I usually present a seminar or two at First Class, a Lifelong Learning Center near DuPont Circle. I arrived at the DuPont Circle Metro rail stop about 5:00 p. Inspiring Values of Unforgettable Teachers All of us recall special teachers - people who not only taught us but inspired us in ways that changed our lives. William Arthur Ward once said, "The mediocre teacher tells. An Extraordinary Person I am not going to tell you the story of an extraordinary person, who did remarkable things in life. Why should I? Are you not an extraordinary person? What do you think about yourself? You possess all the assets of an extraordinary person but, unfortunately, you are not an extraordinary person because you don't think so. Your Turn On The Holodeck Good morning Roy, good morning Joseth.Roy? You have in your world's history a wonderful example of what life is all about in the physical world and what it is that you are doing here. Improving Your Self Esteem Often in our society, we are bombarded with the lives of celebrities. We can end up feeling that if we are not part of the rich and famous, our lives are insignificant. False Start Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 7, 2003.I was married three months ago, and I think I may have married the wrong woman. A Journey of a Thousand Miles There is a Chinese proverb that says, "A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step."This is certainly true. Caring in My Sisters Way: A Lesson On Judgement Last summer, I had an acute case of bronchitis. I was downright bummed. What an Artist Experiences When Working With the Angels I am an Angel artist on a passionate spiritual journey and I would like to share my story of what it is like to work with the Angels. It is a unique experience and very real. Life is a Mystery...or is it? Being the last of three daughters, I was a suprise to my parents who were being very cautious about not having any more children. At the age of 30 my mother found out she was expecting her third child, and not very happy about it at that. A Path To Peace The root of discord and violence between people and nations comes from our tendency to forget our humanity. We "forget" our true nature. Two Drops Of Water Direct Answers - Column for the week of June 17, 2002My problem is that I am falling in love. My friend and I are both 23. Do You Have a Vision? You must absolutely have a vision, or a dream, for your life. Your dream is what will cause you to jump out of bed in the morning instead of waking up with anxiety or dread for the day ahead. How to Get Over Emotional Misery Whether it's a holiday, anniversary, birthday or a time in your life where the rug of life itself seems to have been ripped out from beneath your feet, and you feel the kind of depression where you pray to not wake up, take heart. I have been there, and have learned how to come out of it to the other side of beaming joy, and want to pass this information on to you. A Little Blessing Changes Everything "We're on a one-game winning streak!" That's what freshman Dawan Boxley said after his basketball team, the Rutgers-Camden Pioneers, beat Bloomfield College 77 to 72, snapping a five-year, 117-game losing streak. Imagine losing every game for five years; how depressing that must have been for the team, the coach, and the entire school! But what a joy when that buzzer sounded and game 118 turned out differently. Time to Change the World! Here's something you can do each day that will REALLY make a difference to provide:FOOD for the hungry, MAMMOGRAMS for poor women, BOOKS for children, save HABITAT for endangered animals, CARE for injured animals and HEALTH CARE for poor children.Click on THE HUNGER SITE (http://www. Lesson Learned Direct Answers - Column for the week of December 9, 2002I was involved with a man separated from his wife. We connected on an extremely emotional level and were in the process of building a future. Important Things to Know / Remember About Life I love you not because who you are, but because who I am when I am with you There is no one in this world that worth your tears, and if they are, they will never make you cry. If someone loves you not in the way you would like to, it does not mean that they don not love you in their own way A good friend is the one that will hold your hand and will touch your heart.
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