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False Prophets
Direct Answers - Column for the week of May 12, 2003 Of all the relationship advice columns, I like and respect yours most because you never encourage using manipulation or "tricks" in relationships. I recently turned 30 and am considered an attractive woman. My life has never been easy, but I put it all behind me and tried to make the best out of my assets. I moved to the States, put myself through college, graduated with honors, and work hard to support myself. The only problem is I have no love in my life. The men I date act like I am the best thing to happen to them, in the beginning that is. Inevitably it turns out they do not want a serious relationship, leaving me with a broken heart and crushed hopes. If I am really that wonderful, why is this happening to me? I have dated men of various ages, professions, and physical appearance. The only thing they have in common is a dread of settling down with one person forever. I live in New York, perhaps the most "commitment phobic" city in the world. Whenever I travel to other states, people say, "You're such a beautiful girl. Not married yet?" It's flattering, but I cringe to hear that question. It makes me feel like the biggest loser. I've tried almost everything. Recently I read in one of the relationship books the best way to attract the right partner is make a list of all the qualities we would like them to possess and meditate upon it. Inevitably the right mate will be drawn to us. Call me skeptical, but this sounds like ordering custom furniture, not meeting a mate. Can such lists really work? Please help me. I am too young to live without love the rest of my life. Eldora Eldora, oh, if it was only that simple. Make a list of what you want--a man, money, or a trim waist--and meditate. If that worked, we'd all be married, we'd all be rich, and we'd all be thin. If that book worked, it would be the hottest selling book ever. Authors of relationship books say you can plan and plot this out because that is what people want to hear. But it is not within their power to make happen. No one has a crystal ball to tell you when the great moments of your life will occur. Love comes when it comes, not when you decide it should come. Love is a word which is often misused. It can be used to gain undeserved intimacy. There is something to be said for waiting, because those who are not serious are not likely to be patient. As you have already painfully discovered, you cannot turn a man who is not serious into one who is no matter how much he says he likes or loves you. It doesn't take long to realize a shoe doesn't fit, and almost all men give indicators they are, or are not, of a mindset for a wife. The sooner you learn a man is not of your mindset, the less likely you are to be hurt. If a man says he isn't looking for marriage, shake his hand, say goodnight, and tell him he is not what you are looking for. The one thing we can tell you is to live the kind of life which is in you, that you deserve, that you have a passion for. Because that is the only thing which is under your control. Put yourself in the way of love and marriage. That means not being involved with anyone who does not want marriage, acknowledging in your heart you want to be married, and not being afraid to say it. The man who truly loves you will want to make you his own. The best thing you can do is be out there living a good life. Wayne & Tamara About The Author Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com" target="_new">www.WayneAndTamara.com. Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
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How Four Words Can Enhance Your Life Of Prayer (Pray More In My Hectic Day? You Cant Be Serious) "I would like to pray more. But . Rightful Owner Direct Answers - Column for the week of January 20, 2003I was recently looking through some old photos when I found some of an ex-boyfriend when he was a child. I remember him telling me at the time these were the only photos that exist of him as a child, and that these are the only copies. Go Between Direct Answers - Column for the week of June 16, 2003I enjoy reading your column every week. I want to tell you about a family problem I am having at present. Practice Being Like a Child Remember the master teacher once said 2000 years ago, "Unless you can become like little children, your chances are zero, you haven't got a prayer." A major consideration for adults. The Power of the Tongue There is an old proverb with a lot of wisdom. It says, "The tongue has the power of life and death, and whoever loves it will eat its fruit. Blessings for the Soul In Corrogue I count my Blessings.These are numerous. Without Love Direct Answers - Column for the week of December 30, 2002Kendra and I have been dating almost six years. For the past three years I have constantly asked myself if she is the one. It Wont Happen Again Have you or do you know someone who has been abused or been involved in an abusive relationship? What is your definition of abuse? All of us know that physical violence is abuse. We also know there is emotional and mental abuse too, but do we know what it really is?What counts as abuse?I, myself have experienced physical, emotional, and mental abuse to different degrees. Summertime - Take Time To Smell The Roses I AM SO GRATEFUL for the time to smell the roses. Lying in a hammock between two shade trees Or wandering through a multicolodred rose garden, Sitting quietly and communing with nature Beholding something beautiful in each person I meet. Small Steps, Great Strides Sacred space, sacred timeBelieve in your personal power, retrieve if lostExplore, enhance creativity to allow flow of positive energyDon't get stuck in a rut, seek out a form of support systemAssess, evaluate your attitude, believe in the power of positive affirmationValue your gifts, your talents, count your blessingsThink once, think twice, think again before making major decisions.Know your capabilities and limitations, your strengths and weaknessesDon't let problems get you down- are you missing the causeListen to your Inner Voice, your intiution, nurture your Spirit, learn to be in harmony with Nature and the elements Learn psychic protection, grounding, balancing , centering, clearing- find out how. What is My Life Purpose? Why am I here?If you haven't already asked this question, I'm sure you will. Sooner or later most of us do. Lock In Your Legacy You, my friend, are going to die.What? What kind of motivational tool is that? Real inspiring!In fact, it is. The Rumble in the Jungle: Revealing Greatness The other night I was watching a documentary on that famous boxing match called The Rumble in the Jungle. The fight was between Muhammad Ali (Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee) and George Foreman. Helen Keller: A Teller and a Seller What are the odds of someone doing extraordinary things if that person lost their sight, hearing and speech at nineteen months of age? Helen Keller overcame enormous disadvantages to influence the world. Although her teacher and mentor, Anne Sullivan, achieved great results with her, ultimately, Keller's success was up to Keller. Blasting Out of the Shadows: The Power of Your True Voice First, let me share a quote from Ashlee Simpson's latest hit, "Shadow". Yes, I really am quoting Ashlee Simpson. Life Goes On Boy, do I feel old. Or at least older. The Research Sector Kevin had worked as a barber at The Clipper Joint for the past five years. He has dreams of opening his own barbershop one day. What is the Meaning of Life? A young man in search of enlightenment had traveled to Tibet at great expense and more than a little consternation amongst his family and friends. It was a week before he was allowed to speak with a red-capped administrator of the Dalai Lama's personal staff; in the meantime he enjoyed the wondrous sights of the Himalayas. Labor That Works Miracles (excerpted from The Challenge to Succeed series)Two thousand years ago on April 15th one of Jesus' disciples came to him and said it was time to pay taxes (that's how I know it was around April 15th), but they had no money. In response to his disciple's statement Jesus said "no problem". What If? What If? What if I can't? What If I can? What I should be thinking Is it in God's plan?What if I couldn't? What if I could? Then I start to wonder If I really should?What if I wouldn't? What if I would? What would I do, If others really understood?What if, I am beautiful, Just as I am. That a scale means nothing, When talking to a human.
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