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Direct Answers - Column for the week of May 19, 2003 I'm currently in the classic older man and younger woman relationship. I'm 50 years old, Nancy is 30, and we are both divorced. I was not looking for anyone when Nancy came into my life. She is beautiful and sweet, and I absolutely adore her. I could think of a million reasons why it doesn't make sense to have a relationship with a younger woman. But she doesn't feel that way at all. So why am I writing? At this juncture in my life I simply can't see this relationship in the long term. I have told Nancy not to waste time with someone like me; I have far less life to live than she does. She insists I have plenty of time left, though I cannot see where this could possibly go and be good for both of us. Am I simply sounding like some insecure, middle-aged idiot, or should I enjoy what we have and see where it leads? Simon Simon, if you know something in your own heart that prevents this, or if there is an issue you haven't resolved, such as having children, that's one thing. But if it's simply the idea of the years, the years don't matter. To suggest the difference in age is the problem implies being close in age would guarantee success. But that is not true. Almost half the couples in the United States divorce, and most of them are close in age. It is love that is the center of everything, not the number of years since your birth. It is love which creates alignment and balance between two people. What matters is that you love each other and belong together. In addition, there is no guarantee Nancy will outlive you. Being an insecure, middle-aged idiot is no fun, so we suggest that you enjoy what you have and see where it leads. Wayne & Tamara Free Will My story is like most others. All the signs were there, but for some reason I wanted to believe the lies. My former boyfriend met his ex-wife behind my back. I also suspected an affair with his boss. That thought nagged me. So one night when he was away I looked up her address and drove there. Lo and behold! His car was parked in her driveway at four in the morning. He said he left it there for convenience while he went out with friends for the night. I guess the question you get most is why. But I don't want to know why he did these things, but why did I stay with someone who would cheat on me? Why would I want to believe the lies so much I went against my own logic? Tiffany Tiffany, if you are less than 70 years old, you have been raised all your life to believe we can make any relationship work with the right amount of hard work, compromise, and communication. That is what the "experts" claim. It isn't true. The end result of believing every relationship can be worked on and worked through is there aren't any warning signs anymore. It is like saying since medical people can effectively treat burns, you no longer need to remove your hand from a hot stove. You wanted a loving, monogamous relationship. That is who you are. He wanted to play the field and be intimate with whoever he wanted. That is who he is. Neither of you had the ability or the right to change the other. You tried to apply what you desired in a relationship, and what the "experts" claim is possible, to the man you had. It didn't work. At the time you couldn't see there could be someone else for you who would be loving and monogamous. That is where you needed to go because no one has the power to change the behavior of another. Wayne & Tamara About The Author Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com" target="_new">www.WayneAndTamara.com. Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
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Beauty, Gratitude, and the Open Heart "?beauty on your earth is a shadow of the beauty of our heaven, and it's a bitter thing to have a blindness for beauty on earth, for it makes a longer teaching to see the beauties of heaven." Spoken by an Irish spirit in the book The Boy who Saw True (anonymous author). A Little Blessing Changes Everything "We're on a one-game winning streak!" That's what freshman Dawan Boxley said after his basketball team, the Rutgers-Camden Pioneers, beat Bloomfield College 77 to 72, snapping a five-year, 117-game losing streak. Imagine losing every game for five years; how depressing that must have been for the team, the coach, and the entire school! But what a joy when that buzzer sounded and game 118 turned out differently. Sixty-Second Caring "How are you doing?" you ask. There's a pause before the reply. If You Were an Angel... What Would You Do? If you were an Angel what could you do to make a difference? What would you do? To some this is an overwhelming question. The first thought that would go through many minds is " What I do wouldn't make much of a difference . When Failure is a Gift I wanted, for many many years, to be a mystery writer. Finally I wrote a mystery novel. Clearing Your Inner Landscape: Freeing Yourself From Emotional Deadwood Do you suffer from emotional clutter? Is suffering even the right word? Maybe it is, maybe a better description is 'living with' emotional clutter. Emotional clutter is like an addiction. How to Overcome Loneliness Nowadays the majority of people live in very large cities. It is hard to imagine that in cities of millions of people that anyone could feel lonely. A Prison Cell? Do you have a goal? A focus in life? Have you invested a great deal of time, effort, money to achieve and yet feel you haven't made it yet? For all your effort do you still feel that there is something missing in your life? It is obviously very important to set goals in your life. It gives you a focus a way forward a mechanism for making decisions when faced with a number of options. A Feline Example On Courage Fangs. Killer claws. Misery Can Eat You Alive This is a true story about a woman I worked with for several years.I'm sure we all know at least one person who cannot find a good thing to say about anything or anyone. Who is My Mother? Text: Matthew 12:46-50, Mark 3: 31-35, Luke 8:19Mother's Day has passed. All the dinners have been served, flowers and gifts delivered. To Raise Your Frequency, Just Turn on the Joy! The feeling response to being filled up with Love from your Spirit is joy. Higher frequency energy-Love-activates a joy response in your emotional body. Brilliant Autumn: Reaping a Bounteous Harvest "But if in your thought you must measure time into seasons, let each season encircle all the other seasons, And let today embrace the past with remembrance and the future with longing." - Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931)The low afternoon sun cast soft rays through a cool October breeze. Mirror, Mirror -- What Do I See? "A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world. Vistas The other day I found myself frustrated with the slow progress on my new project. Other people involved, subcontractors, just 'weren't getting it'. Healing from Within "We are responsible for everything in our lives, including how the chemistry in our bodies works or doesn't work." Wayne Dyer's words hit me like a bolt of lightening as I listened to his taped book, You'll See It When You Believe It. Is Transformation Worth the Effort? Soaring 700 feet above the forest floor is a granite dome two miles long and a mile wide. Stone Mountain, 16 miles east of Atlanta, Georgia, was the ideal site for a memorial to General Robert E. A Global Empathy Deficit- 2 Lessons ".. Adages for the New Age The old familiar adages just don't do it for me any more. For instance, consider "the early bird gets the worm. Its Not Always About the Benjamins, Baby Often when I receive emails from this list with folks, Telling me that they have discovered their life's purpose but they don't have the money to do what they need to start living their purpose.Please, please, please do not let your lack of money stand in the way of you living the life that God has planned for you to live.
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