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Go Between
Direct Answers - Column for the week of June 16, 2003 I enjoy reading your column every week. I want to tell you about a family problem I am having at present. Recently our youngest daughter divorced after 22 years of marriage and two teenagers. This was a great shock to all the family as she never told anyone of her unhappy situation. Now she is living with her high school sweetheart, who is also divorced. She says she is very, very happy. My big problem is that my husband of 54 years will not accept the situation and refuses to speak to this daughter. I am not happy either, but have accepted it as I want to keep communication open with my daughter. How should I handle this problem with my husband? Adelle Adelle, we live in tornado country, and a few weeks ago several small towns near us were almost totally destroyed. Many people lost their home, their possessions, and their livelihood. The next morning some people were clearing rubble and rebuilding their lives, while others were wandering around stunned by their loss. We vary enormously in our responses. Some people heal faster than others, and some adjust to change faster than others. Your husband lost a part of his life, and a son-in-law, he never expected to lose. Perhaps he is like the tough old oak not easily bent. You are more like the willow which is flexible and bends in a storm without breaking. For now, you need to give your husband the time he needs to adapt to the change and be the flexible connection between father and daughter. You are like the old-style telephone operator making connections between two people. As long as you are in touch with both, keeping each aware of the other, you keep the distance between them from getting too great. That is a positive, not a negative. There needs to be a little time for healing all around for everyone in this situation. Perhaps in time, or in a crisis, the connection can be made more direct. Your husband and your daughter may only be one incident, or one holiday, away from coming together. Wayne and Tamara Opportunity My boyfriend and I have always had our differences, and though we are both strong-headed, we have learned to appreciate each other. We've been talking about marriage, but there is one issue I cannot get past. He is so selfish! He contributes little to the household duties and financial obligations such as food and cleaning supplies. He spends large amounts of money on weekends and vacations with the boys, but can only rarely take me out to dinner. He shops the Wal-Mart clearance racks for holiday gifts. Christmas was a toothbrush and bath mats. I strongly dislike the area we live in and would like to relocate. He says he grew up here and will never live anywhere else. I was recently laid off, and the only positions in my field are in other cities. I want to work so I can fulfill my half of the financial obligations, but he says he cannot leave and I should just keep looking. Prudence Prudence, opportunity knocks all the time, but the problem is we usually can't recognize it for what it is. We expect the Prize Patrol to show up with balloons and a check for a million dollars. That isn't going to happen. Usually opportunity shows up as something mundane, like getting laid off from our job and thinking about where our life is headed. You are thinking about marriage, but you should be thinking about 50 years of bath mats and toothbrushes from a selfish man. You want to keep up your half, but where is his half? You've been given an opportunity to live where you choose. When you go there, you may find a man who doesn't have differences you can't live with. Wayne and Tamara About The Author Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com" target="_new">www.WayneAndTamara.com. Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
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Afraid of The Light? Plato once said, "It is easy to forgive a small child afraid of the dark, but not a full-grown man afraid of the light." Since long before Plato light has symbolized truth--facing the reality of our situation in relation to God, to others, and to self. Change Begins With Choice Any day we wish we can discipline ourselves to change it all. Any day we wish; we can open the book that will open our mind to new knowledge. Personal Fear of Change and How to Change It! It's interesting how we intellectually know that tomorrow will be different from yesterday, or even different from today. We know this based on experience. When Failure is a Gift I wanted, for many many years, to be a mystery writer. Finally I wrote a mystery novel. Neither A Borrower Direct Answers - Column for the week of November 4, 2002I moved from Los Angeles to Europe with my husband and children. My sister's husband left her with three children. The Final Frontier When all that you have done has not brought you what you truly desire, isn't it about time to move out of the box ask questions and make changes?What would you think if you went to your doctor and he hit you over the head with a rubber hammer to knock you out before some minor surgery? Does the horse and buggy now serve you to take you to work each day? Would you settle for going down town to the telegraph office, to have a message sent to your aunt across the country? Could you possibly get along without your cel phone, fax machine or microwave oven?The answer is "of course not." We have evolved and our world is moving much too quickly to rely on out dated technology to serve us. Iron Man Inspiration - Raise The Ceiling On What You Can Achieve The Florida Iron Man involves swimming 2.4 miles, biking 112 miles and running 26. Dolphin Figurines evoke images of wild dolphins: How Do Dolphins Communicate? Researchers are seeking to identify how dolphins communicate. Unfortunately it is like ancient history, once we can decipher the basic 'words' we think we have the message. Giving Can Overcome Language Differences I recently had to take a trip to Germany. It has been more than ten years since making my last international trip. Innocent Fun Just the other day, I escaped the business of my daily life and sought refuge on the water front here in Montreal in an attempt to recharge my energies.Taking advantage of a beautiful day, I walked along the long stretch of the Saint Lawrence River, as a way of my meditation routine. Lesson Learned Direct Answers - Column for the week of December 9, 2002I was involved with a man separated from his wife. We connected on an extremely emotional level and were in the process of building a future. Life After Death: The Story of the Green Donkey This is the true story of what Deepak Chopra would call a "Whopper". It is a story so touched with the hand of God it seems almost impossible to believe, and yet, there can be NO doubt for those of us who are believers that this really happened!My best friend passed into Spirit on May 15, 2004 at the age of 45, after a 10 year battle with HER-2 Breast Cancer. Stay With It! I walked out of his office inspired. All I could immediately recall were those soft-spoken words, "STAY WITH IT". Motivation and Inspiration: Illusions 101 Q: I was wondering if you could recommend any books on motivation and change that are fun to read and that aren't all rah rah, if you know what I mean. Could there even be such a thing as a book that's like a novel or short story that's about motivation?Your question is very well-timed. Nuthin but Blue Skies "Welcome to Canada," Ken shouted to me over the roar of the rain and thunder. A constant downpour kept the photography workshop indoors. One Woman's Story of How Her Smile Increased Her Confidence For one who takes pride in being involved with different community organizations, possessing a high level of confidence is essential. Especially when that involvement includes speaking to large and small groups requesting donations for numerous non-profit organizations. The Dot We have all grown up in an age where exploration into dramatic new territory has become routine. We have had people travel into space to live for short periods of time. Life Goes On Boy, do I feel old. Or at least older. Time to Change the World! Here's something you can do each day that will REALLY make a difference to provide:FOOD for the hungry, MAMMOGRAMS for poor women, BOOKS for children, save HABITAT for endangered animals, CARE for injured animals and HEALTH CARE for poor children.Click on THE HUNGER SITE (http://www. What We Believe We Create - Love is the Creation I once was told by the Angels that our concept of Love would fit on the head of a straight pin and the size of the Universe and more is the love that is felt for us by God and the Angels. If this is so, and I believe that it is .
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