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Walking The Walk
Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 14, 2003 I have a very important question. My wife moved out of the house last year with our young son and daughter. We have done some excellent counseling and made excellent progress. She actually moved back home two weeks ago. You can't believe the relief. We broke up because of my controlling personality, but there were no financial or drug problems, nothing of that sort. I am a physician. We had a stable home and job for 15 years. I think she just got tired of not being heard and appreciated. I believe I have made many important changes for myself and her. There may not be an answer to my question, but how long does it take for things to be okay again once a couple reunite? Days or months or years? I am a patient soul, but life is quite short. I guess I am asking, what does it take to soften a hardened heart and how long? Hal Hal, it may be possible to say how long an illness takes to run its course, but it is not possible to say when, or if, things are going to be okay with your wife. In Stephen King's novel "From a Buick 8," there is a state police sergeant whose men trust him and know they can always rely on him. The author says, "They knew this, not because he said anything, but because he walked the walk." Do you walk the walk of a man who loves his wife? Do you walk the walk of a man your wife can love? Are you alive to her presence? Those things cannot be faked, and your wife is sure to know the difference. Your profession makes heavy demands on time, but life is like a box. There is only so much space. If you try to pack too much in, some items will be crushed out of existence. Do you make the time for your wife and family? Do you have that genuine desire? We would not say you should be thinking of your wife when you are with a patient, but when you are with a patient, do you forget you are a married man with a wife you love? To the extent the future is yours to decide, it depends on your genuine feelings. In one of the Martha Grimes mysteries, a man explains why his relationship didn't last. When I passed a flower store, he says, I didn't have the urge to buy her flowers. Wayne & Tamara Man Or Beast I am a woman, 21, devoted to saving a relationship with a 31-year-old abusive, bipolar, unfaithful man-child. I must say he is a Freudian nightmare in that he has as many issues as anyone I ever met. It would be so much easier if I wasn't deeply in love with him. He drinks and spews out the most hurtful things. When he wakes up and is sober, he does not remember what he said. I keep wondering if alcohol is acting as a truth serum, or making him say things he does not believe. He claims sex and love are two completely different things. Although he swears he wants to be faithful to me, he keeps making the argument that men are programmed to spread their seed as widely as possible. That, he says, explains his unfaithfulness. Stella Stella, at 21 you are standing in the center of a circle, free to go in any direction. Why move in his direction? That is one degree out of 360, and it is one of the worst. You need to look inside and determine why you are choosing this course. When you tell him goodbye, tell him if this was the wild kingdom, he would be one of the bucks that never got a doe. The real males would relegate him to the bachelor herd. Tamara About The Author Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com" target="_new">www.WayneAndTamara.com. Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
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Confidence Building Steps That Work Like Crazy! Self-confidence is your assessment of your own self-worth. It plays a large part in determining your happiness through life. Adversity to Victory The following is a true story about a young friend who lives in St. Louis. A Brick Wall Direct Answers - Column for the week of August 18, 2003Two years ago I divorced, and there is still a lot of hostility.My former husband has been served with contempt papers for not paying child support. Its About That Time As we've reached the half way point of the year I'm thinking this might be a good time to pull up and evaluate things. Look back over the first 6 months, and look ahead to the upcoming days and months. Words That Can Leave You Powerless The lines below come from this weeks mind treatment, written by Rev. Angelica Jayne who is a regular weekly contributor to this site. All You Want is Within Your Reach If there is one thing that I believe with all my heart it is that you can have any life you choose to. You can live the life you have always dreamed of. Full Disclosure Direct Answers - Column for the week of April 21, 2003I hope you can talk me out of this bad feeling. I watched the Michael Jackson program where he was talking about how he was treated by his father. The Amazing Destructive Power of Tradition After more than thirty years of studying the Bible I can say with full assurance that Jesus Christ never contradicted himself. There is one instance where it would seem that he did but after careful examination I found that rather than a contradiction it ends up being more of an enigma. True Inner Guidance It's easy to tell the difference between true inner guidance (spirit) and ego-driven guidance: the first is attended with Love and the second with Fear.True inner guidance will always draw you into something that you are desiring or want to be, do or have. The Cracked Pot Letters on Life#3Some experiences you never forget. In some of them there is great learning. Life After Death: The Story of the Green Donkey This is the true story of what Deepak Chopra would call a "Whopper". It is a story so touched with the hand of God it seems almost impossible to believe, and yet, there can be NO doubt for those of us who are believers that this really happened!My best friend passed into Spirit on May 15, 2004 at the age of 45, after a 10 year battle with HER-2 Breast Cancer. Everyday is a Gift, Open and Enjoy It There is a bottle of perfume sitting on my dresser that I was given when I was ten years old! As you can tell I have pack rat tendencies! For me that pattern started as a young child. I could never bear to throw things away. Discover Your Passion What are you passionate about? We didn't ask if you are passionate. But what are you passionate about? What stirs your emotions? What is it you can't stop talking about whenever someone asks: "What are you passionate about?" What's the fire in your belly? What really turns you on? What do you love doing most?What is it that you love doing so much that you forget time? You forget others. Fail Your Way To The Top Have you had a challenging day or week? Feel a little tired or discouraged with a current situation? Ready to throw in the towel and quit something?Don't worry. It's very normal to go through times of feeling that something in life stinks and all there is to see and feel is the current mess. Never Too Busy to Listen Are things busy at your house or workplace? Imagine how in must be at Celestial Control Central:"Good morning, Gabriel. Let's go over what's on the old schedule for today. Opening the Heart and Exploring Beneath the Surface Exploring beneath the surface of a reoccurring relationship issue can be tedious and scary. Seeing beyond a nagging health challenge to the 'deeper issue' requires courage, faith and trust. Quotable Quotes Are Nothing More Than Flowery Words Quotable quotes are nothing more than flowery words.. A Pre-existing Condition Direct Answers - Column for the week of December 2, 2002I am 25 and have been married for two years. This past August I began an affair with my husband's younger brother. Following Through Direct Answers - Column for the week of March 24, 2003My final divorce papers sit in front of me waiting for my signature. In fact, they've been sitting on my desk for five days now. I Hate My Computer and Other Inspirational Thoughts The New Year has not started out very well for Yours Truly. After the first day of the new year, my life went south for the rest of the winter.
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