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Secrets Exposed
Direct Answers - Column for the week of October 13, 2003 I've been friends with "Jenny" for three years after my husband and I started a business with her husband. When her husband decided he didn't want to come to work anymore, we pretty much took his name off the business, and they stopped calling and coming over. We would call, but they'd never answer or return our calls. Through another friend we learned they split up. I had some information about Jenny's husband I thought she needed to know, so I met with her. I told Jenny her husband cheated enough for an entire football team. Jenny told me she never called because her husband said we didn't pay him an even share of the business profits. Even though we didn't have to, we showed her proof we paid him right. After all that we became friends again. We hung out every other day and talked on the phone every morning. Jenny even found a guy to like her and her two kids. She seemed really happy and believe me, if you knew her, a piece of chocolate would make her happier than she ever was in her marriage. The only thing is, she dumped the new guy. Then suddenly she stopped calling and coming over. Yesterday I went to her house and her ex was there. I turned around and left. I'm pretty sure the only reason she wants to be with him is because he is the father of her kids, but she is willing to give up her friendship with me for him. I know what you're thinking, same as my husband, she never really was my friend if she would do this. I wrote her a letter in hopes of getting my friend back, but I'm not sure it will do any good. What else, if anything, should I do? Tara Tara, what your husband said is not quite right. It isn't that Jenny never was your friend; it's that you can't root for both teams in a basketball game. Jenny was faced with two competing realities. Either her husband is a good person worthy of respect, or her husband is untrustworthy. While Jenny was with you she could cast her marriage in one light, but once she went back to him, she had to recast her marriage in a different light. She couldn't hold both pictures in her mind at the same time. Your experience is a familiar one. Often when a couple breaks up, a friend of one of them will share in all the secrets of the marriage. If the couple gets back together, that friend will be left out in the cold because they know too much. That is what happened to you. While Jenny's husband is in her life, she will not be your friend. Wayne & Tamara Star Struck I am dating the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, and I love her more than anything in the world. Obviously there is a problem, or I wouldn't be writing. My girlfriend is extremely jealous, especially of celebrities. She wouldn't talk to me for three days after she asked if I thought actress Eliza Dushku was attractive, and I said yes. I never look at other women, and she seems only to be jealous of celebrities who are way out of my league. Not too many movie stars hang out in my small town in Ohio. What should I do? Dean Dean, this could be something you can learn to live with, as long as you don't move to Hollywood. But we never suggest a person alter or change their actions for the sake of another's irrational jealousy. If you change yourself for her, she will not respect you. She may be attractive enough to get any man to jump through hoops for her, but the man she settles down with will probably be a man who doesn't. Tamara About The Author Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com" target="_new">www.WayneAndTamara.com. Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
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Life lessons - An Inpirational Story Ju was physically abused as a child. She lived with a mother who was diagnosed with post depression and a father who was a wife abuser. Why Are We So Lost? The Journey Home Did you ever wonder how you ended up where you are in your life? Is life a culmination of a series of very carefully planned moves or a hodge podge of serendipitous events? Of course as we get to know ourselves better, our radar becomes more finely tuned. Our intuition develops and we become more secure with our inner knowing. Self Help When Youre In Debt It's no fun being in debt.Money shortages are always stressful and serious debt can emotionally drain you. Personal Philosophy is Like The Set of The Sail We have all experienced the blowing winds of disappointment, despair and heartbreak. Why, then, would each of us, in our own individual ship of life, all beginning at the same point, with the same intended destination in mind, arrive at such different places at the end of the journey? Have we not all been blown by the winds of circumstances and buffeted by the turbulent storms of discontent?What guides us to different destinations in life is determined by the way we have chosen to set our sail. Are You Really Living Your Life Today! Yesterday I was but a child, looking. Looking ahead at a world of wonder. Trusting Your Genius Within Comments about New Theories in the Professions and Business!I recall reading an article in The New York Times which fascinated me entitled, "Geniuses, Crackpots and a Grand Unified Theory" by James Glanz. The article basically stated that even geniuses have some crackpot ideas! It was about one genius meeting with other geniuses expounding all types of incredible theories. Super Powers It is fun to watch movies of those with super powers. It sparks the imagination to watch their feats of great strength, lightening speed and great leaping ability. Happy Ending I'm writing to you with a completely shattered heart. I've known my wife for over five years, and we got married last August. Money or Faith? I've been to 64-countries, and yes money comes in handy, and goes quickly (and is useful and has its influence), I've had a ton of it at one time or another and an ounce of faith, and I'll take faith any day-why? I'll explain. Anybody who has been in a combated zone, under fire will tell you: '?keep the money, I need faith right now. How To Be Secure In An Insecure World Most of us believe that our happiness and security are dependent upon our relationships, work, income and the external events that take place in our lives. When things are going well there is a sense of well-being and safety. A Brick Wall Direct Answers - Column for the week of August 18, 2003Two years ago I divorced, and there is still a lot of hostility.My former husband has been served with contempt papers for not paying child support. Romance - Can It Last? I'm a sucker for romance. I love movies where boy meets girl, boy loses girl and, against all odds, they find their way back to each other. The Essence Of Freedom Life is too hard and too risky in the eyes of many. By contrast, others are such proponents of a virile existence, demanding great courage and giving great pride, that they are ready to leave the coziness of their home to scale Mount Everest and breast the elements for the sheer joy of conquering the summit. Self Talk: What Do You Say When You Talk to Yourself? You have just completed a major work project before the deadline. Having worked diligently and spending your own time, you're proud of the results and can't wait to impress your boss. Life is Art In my years teaching people to be successful, I have seen that basically people break their lives down in to two major parts: Wealth-building and the rest of their lives. Having done a lot of reflection on these two topics - wealth and life - I am coming to some new conclusions about how to perceive the two. Food for Thought We all love picnics. They represent a fun time as we prepare the food, the entertainment and the guest list. Energy Work Basics Part 4: Imagine! Einstein said, "Imagination is more important than knowledge".Did you know that athletes use the power of their imaginations to perfect their athletic performances? Musicians and vocalists do the same thing. Passion: What It Means To Live With It Passion can guide you, not just to live, but to live with purpose. Throughout my professional career, I've had most fortunate opportunities to associate with numerous high profile individuals and organizations, including Forbes 400 successes, politicians, celebrity entertainers and athletes. Maternal Instincts Direct Answers - Column for the week of October 14, 2002I am a woman in her mid-60s whose husband passed away, and I do not want to enter into a relationship with another man. I have no family in town other than my daughter. Control Your Own Destiny "You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you." -Brian TracyIn order to make choices that may change your destiny, you must first know yourself and what you are creating moment by moment.
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