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Faux Feelings
Direct Answers - Column for the week of November 10, 2003 I'm a male, 28, in a happy relationship for a year. None of us is perfect, but we are a good fit for each other and I have a lot of personal respect for my girlfriend. I also think she is now serious about our relationship. For the past year she claimed she was excited about me from the time we first met. Now, however, she admits she went out and had sex with another man just hours after setting up the first date with me. Even though this is not technically cheating, I have doubts about her intentions and character. She claims she was heartbroken at the time and just grabbing attention. I have a hard time understanding why someone would set up a date with a man she claims she liked, then hours later go out and have sex with a man she claims she did not like. If she has sex with someone she claims she did not like, how about when she meets somebody she does like? Is having sex a routine part of going out for her? Is she going to be faithful? Sometimes I even feel like taking revenge. I found this out by reading a love letter, addressed to her, I discovered by accident in her photo album. Taking the letter out of the envelope, however, was not an accident. I can most likely get over this, but I think it would have been better to know early on. If she didn't care about him, why would she store the letter in a place where we usually store our good memories? Mario Mario, the latest popular idea is that you can learn to love someone. This is a new twist on "love is a decision." But if you believe love is a decision, how do you exclude other emotions as decisions? It appears instead of deciding to love her, you've decided to loathe her. The heart looks for love, and when you didn't feel it, your emotions went to anger and resentment with thoughts of revenge. Compatibility does not equal love. Why is your heart looking at something which happened prior to your first date? Because it doesn't feel love for this woman. Tamara Schadenfreude Today I am turning to you for help. I need information how to denounce someone for tax evasion. Here is my story. I met a man who tended bar as a hobby. He is very rich and I am very poor. I was fascinated by his personality even though, despite all he told me about himself, he concealed his true identity. Once he asked me to marry him, but as I grew to know his real personality I told him no. For some reason or other, I became curious what became of him. I investigated and learned he was living with another woman. When he learned about my investigation, he intruded in my apartment when I was not there. I am, however, aware of the danger of accusing him of what I cannot prove. If it wasn't for a photo he gave me of himself, I'd have no proof of his existence. He keeps using different names in public life and driving cars registered to friends. I believe he indulges in criminal affairs, running several businesses without getting involved under his true name. But if he could be brought to justice, it would be all right with me. Natasha Natasha, you need help, but not the kind you seek. Why is this man even in your thoughts? He is out of your life. You told him no. Yet you are wasting time with useless thoughts of revenge. You say yourself you have no proof. Yet you want to punish him. Even if you get revenge, you have not advanced your life at all. Understanding why you want revenge will allow you to advance your life. Wayne About The Author Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com" target="_new">www.WayneAndTamara.com. Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
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Mirror, Mirror -- What Do I See? "A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world. Life is a Mystery...or is it? Being the last of three daughters, I was a suprise to my parents who were being very cautious about not having any more children. At the age of 30 my mother found out she was expecting her third child, and not very happy about it at that. The Power of One It was one of those once-in-a-life-time moments. The entire World celebrated Christmas Eve, 1968, by sitting glued to television sets. Opening Hearts is as Easy as Opening a Window Two-year-old Owen goes to speech therapy twice a week. The therapist's office is small and gloomy. Realistic Living " The fountain of content must spring up in the mind, and he who hath so little knowledge of human nature as to seek happiness by changing anything but his own disposition, will waste his life in fruitless efforts and multiply the grief he purposes to remove." - Samuel JohnsonThe one person, who is of more importance to you than anyone else in the world, is just - YOU. Naomi and the 5 Life Lessons Not long ago, I attended a seminar that featured Naomi Judd, half of the legendary country music duo, The Judds. Naomi, with her talented daughter, Wynonna, set the standard for country music by selling millions of albums, performing to 'sold out' audiences, and winning numerous awards. Getting Unstuck According to the Buddhists, between January 29 and February 12 is the worst time of the year. "Don't start anything new during this ending period," they advise. Wanna Trade Places? Even immediately after my car accident, every single person who saw me was pleasantly shocked at how "great" I looked. Funny how much a little concealer and a new hair style can make anyone look fabulous. The Power of Inspiration INSPIRATION can be a powerful thing. It can keep you going when all around you cries out "quit!" It is even more powerful than motivation,as motivation gives you your basic reasons to keepgoing--it tells you why you want to do what you do, because motivation is based on goals. A Pre-existing Condition Direct Answers - Column for the week of December 2, 2002I am 25 and have been married for two years. This past August I began an affair with my husband's younger brother. Dreams and Desires, Wants and Wishes Journals Have you ever dreamed of a new house? Have you ever wished for the perfect mate? What about wanting that job that you've always dreamed of? Have you wished for a perfect day?We all have dreams and desires, our own personal wishes and wants. What if?what if you could just have what you wanted and wished for? What would that house look like, feel like? How would you decorate it? Is it a condo, or on acres of land? Are there animals? Who are your neighbors? Do you have parties? What color is your house painted? How is it furnished? Who lives there with you?Your perfect mate, is how tall, what color hair, what religion? How did you meet? Are you married? Do you have children?What is your dream job? What state are you living in? What are your hours? What do you do? Whom do you work with?What does your perfect day look like? What do you do, where do you go? Whom are you with?Think about what your wishes and dreams are. When Self-Growth becomes Self-Sabotage Many of us invest quality time and energy into our personal development. We buy inspiring books, sometimes with the workbooks or journals that complement them. Save the Planet with Your Joy! Your own level of frequency raises or lowers the overall frequency of humanity, and because being at higher frequency equals the experience of joy, it is literally true that in order to raise up the world and deliver it from suffering, it is imperative that you are joyful! And most people think saving the world requires sacrifice and suffering! In fact, the very opposite is true. Indeed, the most magnanimous-and effective-thing you can possibly do for the planet and its inhabitants is to raise your frequency up out of pain and struggle to that of peace, joy, and ease so that the collective joy-level increases, thus lifting all out of pain and struggle. Helen Keller: A Teller and a Seller What are the odds of someone doing extraordinary things if that person lost their sight, hearing and speech at nineteen months of age? Helen Keller overcame enormous disadvantages to influence the world. Although her teacher and mentor, Anne Sullivan, achieved great results with her, ultimately, Keller's success was up to Keller. Thoughts on Loving Loving. It seems like such a simple concept. Attaining Financial Freedom Financial freedom is not about having enough money to spend to your heart's delight, without seeing red. It is freedom from the control of money; freedom from being a slave to money. Just One Person We All Need I understand that all the self made people of this world, be it:the late Abraham Lincoln, former President of the United States, who failed at most levels in his early life. This can de-motivate even the strongest people in the world, but he continued and became the President. How To Develop A Grateful Mind (The Best Medicine) There is one sure fire medicine that cures all difficulty and opens the way for your greatest good. It allows you to sleep well at night, wake up refreshed and filled with enthusiasm. Conspiracy of Silence Direct Answers - Column for the week of January 12, 2004I'm hoping you can help me with a moral problem that crops up every now and then in my personal and professional life. Sometimes I find myself being blamed for an error or lack of judgment that actually occurred on someone else's part. Moment of Grace The bedrock of the Christian faith is the good news about God's love. Christian teachings about who we are and about our relationship with our Lord and each other is rooted in the fact that God is love and that He loves His creatures.
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