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The Road Not Taken
Direct Answers - Column for the week of November 24, 2003 My husband cheated on me for maybe five years, and yes, I really had no idea. The person he cheated with is a policewoman on his job. She is married and her husband is a cop, too. To make a long story short, I found out about the affair and forgave him, but a few years later I realized it was still going on. So out of anger, I called her husband and told him, plus I gave him the damaging proof. I also filed a complaint with her captain to keep her from calling my house. Now my husband is trying to save his good name with the department and avoiding contact with her husband. She, on the other hand, hardly ever goes to work now. As for me, my husband is playing the "forgive me" role again. But this time I'm letting him believe things are okay with us. I decided to use him as my lover. I'm back at school full-time for my degree. I turn down nothing he offers. I ask for everything, and most of the time I get it. I'm going places I only dreamed about, and I'm enjoying it for me, not for us! I am determined to be a better independent me, able to take care of myself. Hey, what he does for me, even if it's out of guilt, I deserve it and more. I am going to take it all, and in the end he will know what it is like to place your trust and belief in one person, only to have them walk out with no regrets. This I am going to do cause it's all about me now. I forgot one more thing. I have been faithfully married to this man for almost 20 years. Tell me what you think of this. Vivian Vivian, cheating changes everything about a relationship. It has made you into someone you never were. You are not the kind of woman to use a man and be selfish in a relationship. But you couldn't pull him to your path, so he pushed you to his. When you first learned of his affair, you forgave your husband, but you didn't take action. That is why you are where you are now. He didn't suffer any consequences. Perhaps the only consequence that would have prevented you from being cheated on a second time was divorce. A famous poem by Robert Frost says it is the road we pick "that has made all the difference." Had you chosen another road the first time, he might have stopped. Or he may never have stopped. But the consequences came too late for both of you. Tamara Test Of Wills My girlfriend is great. I really enjoy being with her, and she says we make a great couple. But here is the problem. We are coming from two very different places. She ended a three year relationship about a month before we started dating, and she has a nagging feeling she hasn't spent enough time on her own. Were it not for the bad timing, she would have no reservations about forming a serious relationship with me. I can definitely understand where she is coming from. I've been trying to convey to her I have no problem if she spends more time away from me as long as that does not mean breaking up. Matt Matt, you can't take away someone's free will. Even though we might like to exert our will on another, if we had that right, what would prevent them from doing the same to us? Why should your will override hers? Why can't you accept that if she has to be changed so you can have her or want her, she is not your person? It is freedom of will which makes love perfect with the right person. Wayne About The Author Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com" target="_new">www.WayneAndTamara.com. Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
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The Red Ribbon Everyone wants a blue ribbon. Blue. Body Calling: Eye Sight Cured Naturally Lorenzo C. an inspiring young teenager who fell to the inevitable statistics of a major automobile accident. Forgiveness "If unresolved anger is a toxin to the spirit, forgiveness is the antidote." - Brian L. Have You Lost Focus? Matthew 5:14-16You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Spiritual Evolution: A Journey of Truth BORN OF BODY AND SPIRITWe are born of the body and of the Spirit. The soul dies to one body of existence and is born unto another. Good-Bye Yesterday, Hello Today Many of us are unable to move forward with our lives because we refuse to let go of what no longer exist: YESTERDAY. The portal to yesterday is permanently closed; gone out of business. Circles On The Water - The Impact You Make On People's Lives When you were a child, or maybe even when you were older, did you ever toss a pebble into the water and watch the ripples that emanated from the point where it broke the surface? Or watched the effect of raindrops falling on a body of water? I have done these things and have since found myself pondering on this process, and just how much it can be compared to our lives.The pebble splashes in the water and affects the surface surrounding it. All You Want is Within Your Reach If there is one thing that I believe with all my heart it is that you can have any life you choose to. You can live the life you have always dreamed of. Rightful Owner Direct Answers - Column for the week of January 20, 2003I was recently looking through some old photos when I found some of an ex-boyfriend when he was a child. I remember him telling me at the time these were the only photos that exist of him as a child, and that these are the only copies. What in the World are You Doing? Here is the typical life - typical, though not everybody does it this way. But for the most part, lives generally go something like this:Born Eat and sleep Play with toys Go to school Play little league Go to schoolLearn to drive Go to school Leave high school Go to more school, but pay for it now Get a job Get married Buy a houseHave kidsWatch your kids eat, sleep, play and go to school Work, work, and workRetireDieThat's the basic life, isn't it? Don't email me. Emancipation Direct Answers - Column for the week of September 8, 2003When is it time to divorce a family member?I've been helping my partner manage his father's long-term care. This entails working with his brother who controls the purse strings. Dread Disease Dragged Out My Best In denial, I was slow to accept Multiple Sclerosis. Who, after all, would embrace a diagnosis of the dread disease of no known cause, and for which there was no cure?"The mission of the National Multiple Sclerosis Society® is to end the devastating effects of MS. Pride Goeth Direct Answers - Column for the week of November 25, 2002My boyfriend's daughter (I'll call her Mary) got married six months ago. She is 19 and pregnant. Night of the Living Dead For many people, life has become as dull and despairing as death. We suffer from spiritual inertia. Wisdom of the Worlds Proverbs You don't have to excavate diamond mines or oil fields to find one of the world's greatest treasures. All you need to do is look at the world's proverbs--the "people's wisdom. Who is the Pilot? It was a mild summer day in Raleigh-Durham, North Carolina when I boarded United Airline flight 7318 to Washington, DC. Like usual, I promptly located my window seat, with no doubts that the pilots would safely take me to my destination. Essential Oils and Aromatherapy: Raise Your Frequency with These Divine Gifts The volatile essences of aromatic plants contain potent, complex, natural chemical compounds that work at multiple levels to catalyze physical, emotional, and spiritual healing. Science is at last looking in earnest at the mechanical action essential oils have on organisms, but perhaps the oils' most important, and at the same time, most under-explored, factor, is their inherent frequency-their intact Life Force Energy and intelligence. Innovation Management - Being Receptive to Inspiration Creativity can be defined as problem identification and idea generation whilst innovation can be defined as idea selection, development and commercialisation.There are other useful definitions in this field, for example, creativity can be defined as consisting of a number of ideas, a number of diverse ideas and a number of novel ideas. Who Are The Underminers? How many of you had the experience growing up of being told in various ways to limit yourselves from being all you can be? The movie "The Incredibles" is a wonderful metaphor for this. In this movie, the superheroes - the people with extraordinary powers - are restricted from using their powers. Hitler and the Tsunami In Catholic school the nuns used to tell us that we should love everyone as we loved Jesus. We didn't have to like them but we had to love them.
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