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The Information Age
Direct Answers - Column for the week of December 1, 2003 My sister and I are very close, and we don't keep things from one another. Recently she shared with me concerns about her sex life, or lack thereof. She feels like there is something wrong with her because her husband is not attracted to her. They have been married 15 years. A couple of weeks ago I was on the Internet and highlighted my brother-in-law's name to send him an instant message. Well, when I did a box appeared, and it stated where he was online. At first it said he was in a bisexual chat. I logged off my regular signature and signed on to another one and checked to see where he was. The drop down box said he was now in a gay chat room. I went to the chat room and just watched, and in no time he typed in his age, sex, and location. I was floored! I didn't know what to do. I waited about half an hour and thought about it. I decided to call him and tell him what I saw and find out what was going on. He denied everything. He said I had the wrong name or that AOL made some kind of mistake. Since then he has blocked me from knowing when he is online. Now I am stuck. My gut instinct is to keep my mouth shut, because it really is none of my business, but my sister is becoming increasingly open and concerned about her sex life. She has spoken with him several times about it, and he says everything is fine, but nothing changes between them. I do not want to tell her because it will devastate her, but if she knew I had this information and kept it from her, she would be even more devastated. Whitney Whitney, contacting your brother-in-law was the least productive thing you could do. It took the option of silence away from you, and it didn't achieve anything with your brother-in-law. He already knew what he was doing. Now he will take steps to explain away or excuse himself. But the one thing he must wonder is who else knows his secret. People often end up with information they don't want, but once they have it, they need to act. Your sister has a problem she cannot solve, and you have the piece of the puzzle which can solve her dilemma. Like it or not, you are the one who can shed light on her problem. If your brother-in-law is meeting strangers for sex, it concerns both your sister's health and her marriage. Tell her. Let her decide what, if anything, she is going to do. Like most of us, your brother-in-law didn't understand the power of technology. A few keystrokes on your computer showed you something which may change all of your lives. Wayne & Tamara Past, Present, Future Not a month after we married my husband got laid off. I work while he doesn't even try to find a job. I come from a family where being unemployed more than you work is wrong, and not providing for your wife is wrong. His family has lived on some kind of government assistance for most of their lives, so he doesn't see a problem. I am beginning to think he is going to ruin my life. We don't have any children yet, and I often think of going after my dreams and leaving him behind. Nicki Nicki, we once lived in a town with a group of men known as the "Go-getters." These men took their wives to work at a local factory in the morning, then loafed around all day drinking coffee and telling stories at the café. At the end of the day, they would go get her. Follow your dreams. You need a go-getter, not a "go get her." Wayne & Tamara About The Author Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com" target="_new">www.WayneAndTamara.com. Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
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Healing The Abandonment Wounds I have counseled individuals, couples, families and business partners for the past 35 years and authored eight published books. Every individual I've worked with has had some abandonment wound to heal, and most relationship problems stem from abandonment wounds. Aftermath of a Child's Near Death Experience An 18 month-old girl lay dying of diphtheria in January of 1944. It was before the widespread use of antibiotics. Without Love Direct Answers - Column for the week of December 30, 2002Kendra and I have been dating almost six years. For the past three years I have constantly asked myself if she is the one. Trust the Lord and Go to The Hole This is my new favorite quote. Now to understand it you must know what "go to the hole" means. How I Made $10,000 In One Day By Swimming Underwater! "Without health, life is not life; it is only a state of languor and suffering," RabelaisIf you want to be wealthy, it's best to get healthy. A salubrious lifestyle is worth the effort. Aim High Change is difficult for many people. Often times our whole identity is wrapped up in what we've learned as children will work for us when dealing with people, allowing us to survive, thrive and fit in. Following Through Direct Answers - Column for the week of March 24, 2003My final divorce papers sit in front of me waiting for my signature. In fact, they've been sitting on my desk for five days now. The Nature of Anger Excerpt From The Relationship Handbook: How to Understand and Improve Every Relationship in Your Life by Kevin B. BurkMany of us have some very definite ideas about anger. Directions For Life Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully. Memorize your favorite poem. Starting A New Disaster Relief Program I believe that it is an amazing time in our history. Mankind is truly showing his/her capabilities, they are observable because all thoughts are brought into physical being as symbols of thought. Cool Children It's funny how an acquaintance from the past just pops into your head sometimes. Usually the flashback is brought on by a phrase someone says, or a thought you have. The Information Age Direct Answers - Column for the week of December 1, 2003My sister and I are very close, and we don't keep things from one another. Recently she shared with me concerns about her sex life, or lack thereof. Brilliant Autumn: Reaping a Bounteous Harvest "But if in your thought you must measure time into seasons, let each season encircle all the other seasons, And let today embrace the past with remembrance and the future with longing." - Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931)The low afternoon sun cast soft rays through a cool October breeze. The Theft of Fire "Igne Natura Renovatur Integra" (By fire is nature renewed whole.) -Alchemical maxim"The whole idea [of the hero's journey] is that you've got to bring out again that which you went to recover, the unrealized, unutilized potential in yourself. Why Be Great? Have you ever thought of what it would take to make you "truly great" at what you do?Look around you at your employees and co-workers and ask yourself whether or not any of them are "truly great" at what they do. No doubt some of them really excel at their jobs and at life, while others just seem to get by. Harsh Reality Direct Answers - Column for the week of August 25, 2003My wife and I married eight years ago. One month into our marriage she was diagnosed with a non-life threatening form of muscular dystrophy. The Creative Evolution of Intellectual Properties: The Royal Critters/Whale Magic (TM) Project Hello Creative Entrepreneurs!The moral of that story is to follow your instincts and intuition and don't let others or society judge or label you.You see, my child-spirit told me there was a writer in me all along. Dont Die With Your Dreams Still Inside You I write and talk a lot about dreams. Primarily because I know we serve an awesome and amazing God, who gave us dreams for an awesome and amazing purpose. When Self-Growth becomes Self-Sabotage Many of us invest quality time and energy into our personal development. We buy inspiring books, sometimes with the workbooks or journals that complement them. Go Ahead, Toss the Starfish! There is an old story that tells of a man walking along a beach when up ahead in the distance, he catches sight of another man acting strangely. As he gets closer, he notices the man is picking things up from the sand and throwing them into the water.
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