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Irresistible
Direct Answers - Column for the week of December 29, 2003 I'm attracted to my manager. He was the one who showed his interest to me first by complimenting me and making wonderful eye contact. He is single and one year younger than me. Until today he only asked me out one time and that was when a close friend of ours also attended the dinner and we had so much fun. Indeed I never gave him enough opportunity to approach closer because I was not sure if this was wise in terms of office ethics. He has a good reputation in my company for his character, virtues, and moral values. For the past five months we have been working side by side on the same project. Sometimes we have a chance to talk friendly about our private lives, and once he told me he misses relationship opportunities since he hates to see himself chasing after women. From what he told me I figured out he will never ask me for a private date because he is afraid it might be considered trying to seduce a woman working under his management. So today, after struggling by myself for many months, I offered to have a drink with him some night this week, and he accepted with great joy. Do you think I am doing something right? Anjuli Anjuli, work is a less artificial situation than dating, and it is hard to conceal who you really are in your daily work. Many happily married people met at work. There are, however, several things to keep in mind. Dating someone at work also involves your livelihood, so you must respect this element. Keep your personal relationship out of the workplace. At work, focus on the job you are paid to do. Although you may want to share the joy of your new relationship with your coworkers, it is a joy they may not share. Would they be happy that you have a special relationship with your manager, and they do not? Some will suspect your special connection with him will mean favorable treatment for you at their expense; others will suspect you of shirking your job responsibilities. In addition, what you might innocently say to one person may, after being repeated, turn into something else. From the outset you need to realize if either of you does not wish to continue the relationship, then you will both be in the uncomfortable position of working side by side with someone you were once romantically involved with. The outer attraction between you was too great for you to resist asking, and for him to resist accepting. You can minimize the risk by doing your job well, and if this turns out to be more than a job for you, we will be very happy for you. Wayne & Tamara Life Without Dessert I'm entering a relationship with a great girl. She's sweet, she's beautiful, and we have the same interests. My only issue is her weight. She's not obese, but every time we go out to dinner she eats dessert. I'm sure it's a simple matter of eating habits and getting a little exercise. How do I bring this up without sounding like a jerk? Gus Gus, where have you been? Controlling weight is anything but a simple matter. Two-thirds of adult Americans are overweight. There are thousands of diet books, and some people even go to the extreme of having their stomach stapled because nothing else seems to work. You can keep dating this girl in hopes she will become the weight you want, just as she could keep dating you in hopes you will become taller. But you each have about the same chance of success. You want her to change her life, so you can feel better about dating her. That is shallow, and you know it. We are not going to tell you how to get away with it. Wayne About The Author Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com" target="_new">www.WayneAndTamara.com. Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
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The Right Approach Direct Answers - Column for the week of June 9, 2003I grew up in a happy, loving, stable home. My fiance was not as lucky. The Power of Notes Notes are very powerful. They express your thanks, encouragement, sympathy, apology, congratulations, feelings, and requests to others. A Plausible Defense Direct Answers - Column for the week of August 5, 2002I just looked at your website and read "Wanting To Be Caught," and I truly think that is awful advice! You said and I quote, "You can't act as if you had no wish to end the marriage when you undertook marriage ending actions."I have just been caught cheating on my husband of 16 years, and at no point was I wanting to end my marriage. Body Acceptance: The Secret to Weight Loss Success Can we love our bodies? As the years go by, each decade brings new and unexpected changes. We move from adolescence to young adulthood. Make Life Work: Repair the Relationship with Yourself What areas of your life are working well? Career? Finances?Relationships? Health?When life works you enjoy fulfillment, happiness, and a sense of well being. "I know how to do this thing called life, and I'm doing it well. Nurture Your Heart Pregnant with her first child, Jill could barely contain her excitement over the dreams and hopes she cherished for her unborn baby, whom she had already named Mara (she was so sure it was a girl). She practiced the lullabies she would sing as she nursed Mara close to her breast. Freudian Slip Direct Answers - Column for the week of November 17, 2003My dilemma is this. I've been going out with my boyfriend for five months. In Search For Wealth My eldest son phoned me the other night to let me know that he and his partner was going to have a baby. When I got the news, I was more excited then he was. You Can Make a Difference When I study of world these days, I see a lot of despair, and hopeless. There are countless problems that our society faces such as war, the degradation of the environment, and crimeHowever, I believe that there is hope for the future of society. Have You Been Lucky In Life? Each moment in life, "lucky" or "unlucky", is to be savored, learned from, and appreciated. Easier said than done? Read this heartfelt story and see for yourself. Bad Blood Direct Answers - Column for the week of August 26, 2002Recently my father passed away. My problem is he never filed a will through the court, but he did have a holographic will, which is an unwitnessed, handwritten will. Believe In Yourself And Become a Winner: Lessons from Hollywood Copyright 2004 Priya Shah A while ago I made it a point to watch the movie "Legally Blonde." Not just for the bright, chirpy and eminently watchable Reese Witherspoon, but also because I loved the message it sent out. The Author Within You! I always had an active imagination when I was young. I hated school, and would pass the time away day- dreaming about things I should not even have known about at such a young age. Timepieces Direct Answers - Column for the week of June 2, 2003I am a father of three teenagers. The older boy and girl are obedient, good at their studies, and helpful around the home. Virtual Chocolate A second on your lips forever on your hips never happens with virtual chocolate. Chocolate begins from a seed. Do You Feel Headed For Shipwreck? The ocean liner Achille Lauro sailed perpetually under a dark cloud. In 1953 it collided with another ship. The Eyes of the Clown There are few enough miracles in life, God knows. I think perhaps the circus is one of them. Everyone Has Been Hurt..... Part 5 Continued.. The Road Not Taken Direct Answers - Column for the week of November 24, 2003My husband cheated on me for maybe five years, and yes, I really had no idea. The person he cheated with is a policewoman on his job. Get Your Guidance and Get to Know Your True Self Many people feel they have everything they need in life, yet happiness remains elusive. What is the key, the missing element when everything seems satisfactory externally? The answer: look within.
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