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Heavy Weather Guide
Direct Answers - Column for the week of April 26, 2004 My girlfriend and I are basically the same age, just a six month difference. When I went to buy the engagement ring in February, I felt certain she was the right one. She accepted my proposal by saying, "If we go slow?" We've been doing that. We had the ring resized to fit her finger, and the wedding wasn't to be until Easter 2006. This morning she broke it off. We were happy and taking it slow, but for some reason it felt fast to her. Right from the start, her relatives pressured her to break up. She asked me questions, I answered honestly, and my answers were acceptable. I want to get married and have my own happy family in the next five years. Preferably in the next two. This afternoon I even cried. What can or should I do? I know suicide's not the answer, but maybe it would make a difference to her and them. No, I don't want to do that, but like I said, I'm feeling sad today. Michael Michael, on a merchant ship the second mate is responsible for navigation. Traditionally, each morning the mate would rise, take a fix on the stars, and recompute a fresh course to the destination. This is necessary because the wind and sea push the ship off yesterday's course. The mate can chart a course and ring up the speed, but the sea determines when the ship will arrive. There is no point fighting against the sea, or against life. Ordinarily when a person thinks of suicide, it is because they are holding to a fixed idea, and they cannot imagine life in any other way. But life is full of possibilities. If your depression is serious, seek help. But your sadness seems based on rigid expectations. You have a schedule in your head, and you want life to conform to your schedule. In the next two years you want to find a woman who loves you, whom you love, who will marry you, and produce children. That sounds more like ordering a new car than love. Out of great love for someone who loves you, come a family and happiness. Where is the great love for this woman in your letter? No, what we hear is the two year schedule. What we hear is the difference between this woman, and your plans for a woman. Life, and people, cannot be bent to your will. Surrender your schedule and allow your life to unfold. The traditional farewell of a mariner is wishing a friend fair winds and a following sea. But the truth is we learn more about ourselves and our ship in a storm than in calm waters. Wayne & Tamara Seesaw I'm a single woman who is intelligent, kindhearted, and attractive. I recently ended a relationship with a man I'll call Jordan. Jordan slowly moved from wanting to spend every moment with me to "needing some space." Jordan is bipolar and refuses to seek help, and my attempts to help left him better and me with an hour of sleep. Recently we enjoyed a great afternoon when he invited me to a party. Well, the last time we went to a party, I was basically "left by the punchbowl." When I gently expressed my concern, he screamed, "Get out!" Which I promptly did. I realize I'm stupid to want anything but to move on, but for curiosity's sake, because it's driving me crazy, what on earth is his problem? We seem to want the same thing, each other, yet he's going back and forth faster than a swing. Darlene Darlene, you ask what on earth is his problem. To borrow a phrase from teenagers, "Duh?" He is an unmedicated, bipolar person. As long as he won't address the problem of his mood swings, there is no place on the swing for you. Tamara About The Author Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com" target="_new">www.WayneAndTamara.com. Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
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Big O Growing up, I remember my Dad had some really good friends. They had the most amazing, positive and magnetic energy. Martial Arts CHARACTER And the Universal Law of Interdependence - The Keys to Life Mastery, Key #2 In the philosophical teachings which form the foundation for the Ninja Warrior's lifeways, there is a principle known as the 'law of interdependence.' This so-called 'law' is not a must-do rule which one must follow, nor is it to be confused with dependence or co-dependence as it is seen today where one or more individuals who cannot or choose not to provide for themselves, lean on and 'depend' on the work and resources of another for the fulfillment of their needs. Bad Blood Direct Answers - Column for the week of August 26, 2002Recently my father passed away. My problem is he never filed a will through the court, but he did have a holographic will, which is an unwitnessed, handwritten will. I Dare You To Be Successful Just imagine how it would feel to be successful.. 5 Simple Tips For A Better Life How can we enjoy a better lifestyle?'Easy' I hear you say, all you need is a few million dollars a beautiful home a happy loving family and all the time in the world to sit back relax and enjoy life's pleasures.Well wouldn't that be a simple solution! A short trip to see the friendly bank manager and all your problems are in the past; hmmm maybe not - so on the basis that you're like me and don't expect any windfalls in the coming weeks here are 5 simple tips to improving your lifestyle. Conscious Living Earlier this year, following an intention to live more consciously, I deemed it the Year of Awakening. For me, I envision a lifetime of conscious living as I more fully awaken to the spiritual being that I truly am. A Life Time of Strategic Thinking You may be one of the thousands who think "Strategic Thinking" applies only to the "captains" of business. But consider human stages of life and how Strategic Thinking is used at the most rudimentary level. Vistas The other day I found myself frustrated with the slow progress on my new project. Other people involved, subcontractors, just 'weren't getting it'. Tim McGraw had it Right - Live Like You Are Dying! Chorus: An' he said: "I went ski diving, I went rocky mountain climbing, "I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu" "And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter, "And I gave forgiveness I'd been denying." An he said: "Some day, I hope you get the chance, "To live like you were dyin'. Call To Action Direct Answers - Column for the week of February 3, 2003I need some advice, please! I've been married to the same man for 11 years. He's a nice person when he's not drinking. Care And Maintenance Of The Human Hard Drive The human brain is very much like a hard drive. If you stop to think of it, they are both filled with billions of tiny bits of information, stored in the memory cells just waiting to be accessed. Careful What You Wish For... I have always been fascinated by the concept of "wishing.", especially "collective wishing. Inspiration From Other People - Is It Worth Listening To A Film Star? Yesterday, I listened to an interview with Michael York, the film star. I listened half-heartedly at first and then with fascination. Coming To Your Senses, Again and Again! When we talk about the Enchanted Self we are referring to positive states of mind and body that are unique to each of us. We are also referring to the process by which we tap into our Enchanted Self. Self-Validation: Living an Empowered Life Sometimes we are concerned with being right and we don't stop to think that our comments or our actions might hurt another person's feelings.We don't always get enough validation in this world, or perhaps we did not receive enough validation from our parents and our teachers and the people who were around us when we were growing up, so we try to be right and find validation now in this world, sometimes at the expense of other people. The Fuel for Creative Vigor Writing a book or creating a killer headline requires a special blend of imagination, inspiration, and knowledge. Whether the ordeal is like enduring a root canal or soaring on a cloud, depends on how upbeat you are. Game-Set-Match Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 21, 2003I don't know whether to call it jealousy or insecurity. My husband and I have been married almost 30 years. The Power of Courtesy and Kindness I'm currently listening to The Secrets of the Power of Intention audio program by Dr. Wayne Dyer. Why Are We So Lost? The Journey Home Did you ever wonder how you ended up where you are in your life? Is life a culmination of a series of very carefully planned moves or a hodge podge of serendipitous events? Of course as we get to know ourselves better, our radar becomes more finely tuned. Our intuition develops and we become more secure with our inner knowing. Clearing Your Inner Landscape: Freeing Yourself From Emotional Deadwood Do you suffer from emotional clutter? Is suffering even the right word? Maybe it is, maybe a better description is 'living with' emotional clutter. Emotional clutter is like an addiction.
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