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The Bright Side of Loneliness
Recently a romantic relationship came to an end and I found myself alone again. The minutes, the hours now felt empty. For three weeks I sat beside a silent phone, rehashing the past and coming to terms with my loss. After the warmth and intimacy of love, my loneliness felt like a great abyss that I could not escape. I do not allow myself to indulge in self-pity - so my next reaction was to ask "what now?" Looking back, I saw that I had invested so much time and energy in the relationship that I had grown lax about undertaking new projects or meeting new people. My first step was to join a Friday evening discussion group, which I found very stimulating. I also prepared and delivered two new workshops to help people find their life purpose and make money doing what they loved. In giving these I again recognized what I had to offer the community (encouragement, experience and insight) and was buoyed by the positive response from participants. Everyone feels lonely sometimes. It's part of being human! However we cannot afford to become paralyzed by a sense of isolation. We all need to connect - both to ourselves and to the world around us. What does your loneliness tell you? What is it that you miss? You may believe that a love partner will fulfill all your needs. However the intensity that marks the beginning of a relationship doesn't last; with luck, it will change into something deeper. The two of you will again be drawn into your individual lives. If you don't feel connected to what you are doing or to the people around you, you are likely to feel lonely again. Here are my suggestions for dealing with loneliness: · Get involved with others Have time on your hands? Offer your services at a soup kitchen, read stories to children, or play cheerful tunes on the piano at the seniors' residence. What do you know or are good at? Perhaps you can do like me and give a workshop in your area of expertise. There's no room for loneliness when you give freely of yourself - and you will receive love and appreciation in return. If you're a computer buff, there are communities of people on the Net who want to share their interests, from dating to rug hooking. Especially for the housebound, regular e-mail friends can be a great solace. · Do something you love Limit your television viewing, push yourself off the couch and engage in something that you really enjoy! Maybe you haven't roller-skated in years and going to the local rink makes you come alive. Bake your favourite pie and share it with a friend, or learn how to do the lambada. The problem is that many of us don't ALLOW ourselves to do what we love. We tell ourselves, I'll do it when? (I meet the love of my life, become more successful, finish all these chores). Do it NOW and you will feel better for it. · Connect with nature I never feel lonely when I go for a long walk by the river. I have a thing for water: ocean, lake or streams. Feel your connection to nature - whether you plant a row of petunias or take a leisurely walk in the park. · Journal for self-expression When there's no one around to talk to, and I feel the need, I journal in a small notebook in longhand, letting deeper thoughts and feelings emerge from my subconscious. I write about my preoccupations as well as my hopes and fears. You cannot enjoy being alone without peace of mind. Journaling helps you to voice and resolve any inner conflicts that you have. Doing it on a regular basis will give you clarity and focus. It's a good way to connect with your inner self. · Realize that you are NOT alone Do you know that most of the world is feeling lonely at this very moment? Think of the new neighbour on your street, a foreign student in your class, or the man who just joined your company. Each of them wonders how he or she will make friends. Be the first to give a warm welcome. Whatever your faith or beliefs, connecting with a Higher Force through prayer or meditation will also dispel feelings of isolation. A little too much solitude spurs me to reach out to those around me. On my nature walk yesterday, I met a woman. As we both watched kayakers ride the rapids, we struck up a conversation - ranging from our experience with water sports to where we grew up and what we enjoyed about the waterfront. At the end we both went our separate ways, parting with a smile and a wave. I've learned to appreciate the little exchanges that make life so much fuller. Loneliness makes me feel painfully alive and aware that I cannot afford to get complacent. It compels me to do more, to be more. And that isn't such a bad thing, is it? About The Author Thelma Mariano, life coach and author, is dedicated to bringing clarity and direction to people's lives. See her on-line coaching prorams, articles and column at www.u-unlimited.ca" target="_new">http://www.u-unlimited.ca.
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Martial Arts CHARACTER And the Universal Law of Interdependence - The Keys to Life Mastery, Key #2 In the philosophical teachings which form the foundation for the Ninja Warrior's lifeways, there is a principle known as the 'law of interdependence.' This so-called 'law' is not a must-do rule which one must follow, nor is it to be confused with dependence or co-dependence as it is seen today where one or more individuals who cannot or choose not to provide for themselves, lean on and 'depend' on the work and resources of another for the fulfillment of their needs. You Are The One, There is No One Else At the time I created my web site, I was looking for that one special person that would read something on my site or in my books or articles and become inspired. I was thinking it would move them forward to write or do something really great that would raise peoples consciousness and bring awareness into their lives. I Am Unique We have given a lot of thought, paid an indecent amount of money and taken much action over the years to change the way we are. To become 'better' human beings. Synchronicity Synchronicity: the coincidence of events that seem related but are not obviously caused one by the other (Encarta Concise English Dictionary)All of us from time to time experience events that happen in our lives that seem to lead from one step to another to bring a result to our attention or an experience that we may desire. In fact all the circumstances in our lives are like that. If You Were an Angel... What Would You Do? If you were an Angel what could you do to make a difference? What would you do? To some this is an overwhelming question. The first thought that would go through many minds is " What I do wouldn't make much of a difference . One Night Stand Direct Answers - Column for the week of February 24, 2003I met someone over the weekend who is very, very famous. I was volunteering at a sports function and his sister was working the function. My Favorite Movies Journal The movies--what a wonderful way to spend an afternoon! I love going to the movies. When I thought about why I look forward to going to a movie, I realized it was like meditation for me. Giving Importance I call myself semi-retired. I work at a job that takes up 5 hours of my day, 5 days a week. Body Acceptance: The Secret to Weight Loss Success Can we love our bodies? As the years go by, each decade brings new and unexpected changes. We move from adolescence to young adulthood. Change Your Landscape by Seeing with New Eyes A Story (Source Unknown) - One day a very wealthy father took his son on a trip to the country for the sole purpose of showing his son how it was to be poor. They spent a few days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family. Leading a World Class Life Every four years the world is given the gift of the Olympics. For a few weeks nations lay down their arms and come together to let their world class athletes compete on a level playing field to see who the best is in the many events. How To Be a Champion in Your Life Are you left with inspiration but no action after hearing, reading, and watching stories about other people who are successful? If so, you're not alone. I've got a question for you: Why watch Oprah when you can be on Oprah instead? Don't you see different guests on her show every day? They're people just like you. Parental Consent Direct Answers - Column for the week of August 11, 2003I am concerned about a relationship, but it is not my own. My nephew aged 21 is planning to get married this November. A Teller Of Tales Direct Answers - Column for the week of June 10, 2002I told my daughter I didn't think my daughter-in-law paid enough attention to her oldest son, 8. He has attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, is on Ritalin, and lately has been kicking and hitting little kids. Energy Work Basics Part 1: So What is Energy? Everything is made of energy. Atoms, molecules, light, sound and color have energy. The Day I First Believed I was eight years old, over four decades ago and I remember this event as though it was yesterday. It was a beautiful but cold and blistering winter day in the city of Detroit. Universal Thought System Language Keywords Before we are able to use the Universal Thought System in a positive expansive manner, we must learn to use certain words in our language more effectively. The prime characteristic of the Universal Thought System is its consistency. The Amazing Power of the Human Will The human will is the most incredible thing. I believe it is the human will that keeps us going, when everyone else expects us to sit, or even quit. 7 Strategies to Overcoming Anxiety and Panic Attacks You Can Overcome panic attacks and anxiety! That is great news to those who suffer day in and day out, year in and year out. I have and I know that you can too. Today is Yesterdays Tomorrow The problem with waiting until tomorrow is that when it finally arrives, it is called today. Today is yesterday's tomorrow.
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