|
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
How To Be Secure In An Insecure World
Most of us believe that our happiness and security are dependent upon our relationships, work, income and the external events that take place in our lives. When things are going well there is a sense of well-being and safety. We sleep well at night, wake up feeling refreshed and have the sense that the world can be managed - that we are in control. However, this kind of security is fleeting. As people and events are constantly changing, we are often edgy about what's coming down the road. We then spend our time and energy trying to manage and control ourselves and others. This craze to control takes many forms. It produces anxiety that never seems to dissolve and turns into addictions, compulsions, catastrophic thinking. It leads to difficult, unhappy relationships based upon power struggles. No matter how much we attempt to strategize and organize, life itself often has its own plans and ideas. When we cannot accept this, our life then soon becomes an endless struggle, rather than a source of joy. We become unable to go with the turn of the tide that life's changes brings and discover the new momentum that may be coming our way. Most of the time it is fear that stops us. We long to live in the known, predict what will happen, to be able to respond in familiar ways. What we seek what is actually a false security, based upon keeping everything the same. But as the very nature of life is change, sooner or later our efforts must always fail. The more we cling to what has been, the more real security eludes us. True security, the ability to live without fear, comes from being in touch with and trusting the one within who The One Who Knows Deep within each of us, there is a knowing and resilient part of ourselves who is able to respond full, know what to do when the moment arises and is at ease and filled with good will. This part of ourselves is filled with balance and creativity. As we contact this aspect of ourselves, bring it to light, give it time and attention, we become less affected by external circumstances and our life takes a completely different turn. There is a process involved in connecting with and nurturing this part of ourselves, steps to take. These steps are directed to letting of that which is in the way. We start by un-learning some of what we've based our lives upon. Different individuals will resonate to different parts of the process. That is fine. Each step when done completely will take a person where they need to be. Here are some basic, initial steps and principles in this wonderful journey to the center of a life of balance and trust. A) Returning Home - To begin, rather than racing forward, we stop and turn around. Some call this returning to our original nature. We describe this step as Returning Home. Rather than continue our frantic search for pleasure, wealth, love, well being in the external world, we return home to ourselves. We take back our attention and return it to who, what and where we are at this very moment. As we do this a centeredness, balance and simplicity takes the place of the upheaval we live with most of the time. This step is based upon the principle that difficulties we encounter do not arise from that which is going on outside of us, but from the way we react and respond. As we return home and become aware, our reactivity lessens and natural balance and wisdom takes its place. Returning home can include times of walking, meditation, centering, focussing, journalling. All of these have the common denominator of placing our attention within. This not only restores our energy, but significantly reduces the endless spin of catastrophic thinking most of us engage in. As we do this we notice it is the catastrophic thinking itself that makes us uneasy, not the actual events right before us now. B)Letting Go Of False Expectations Our fear of life and need to control is often fuelled by the disappointments we have suffered. Over and over we try to make things work out according to our desires. We may not see that many of these dashed expectations and desires, are simply fantasies, dreams, hopes and demands we've placed upon others. When our personal wishes are not fulfilled, resentment and fear develop. Often we do not see that our wishes may have little to do with what is real - or what is beneficial for ourselves or others. As we release our expectations, we become able to see and accept the world as it is and find a new way of living in it. We find who we are, where we belong and where our true security lay. Many then become amazed at how light, joyous and at ease they feel - and at the abundance of beauty and goodness that has always been available to them, day by day. We also begin to see that - "The world is a womb, not a tomb, a place where everything is engendered and brought to life." Henry Miller cc/Dr Shoshanna/2005 Dr. Brenda Shoshanna, www.brendashoshanna.com">http://www.brendashoshanna.com, is author of LIVING BY ZEN, (Timeless Truths For Everyday Life), www.livingbyzen.com">http://www.livingbyzen.com. A psychologist, long term Zen practitioner, speaker and workshop leader she offers talks and workshops on finding our inner security and fulfillment. Dr. Shoshanna also speaks on all aspects of relationships and living life to the brim. She is the author of ZEN MIRACLES (Finding Peace In An Insane World, Wiley, and ZEN AND THE ART OF FALLING IN LOVE, (Simon and Schuster). She is the relationship on i.village and can be reached at topspeaker@yahoo.com, (212) 288-0028.
MORE RESOURCES:
Google News |
 |
|
|
Inspiration: A Few More Things Ive Noticed Along the Road So Far Here's a quote from the late great columnist Sydney Harris that I believe says much about the state of marriage in our culture: "Almost no one is foolish enough to imagine that they automatically deserve great success in any field of activity; yet almost everyone believes they automatically deserve success in marriage."One of the best unexpected blessings of marriage is to count the parents of your spouse among your friends. What Does it Take to Make Life Better? What does it take for you to pay attention?You've probably heard this said, or said it yourself sometime, "I just realised how precious life is." Maybe you heard it when a relative died or maybe you said it after an accident or some other emotional event, but did you stop to consider the grander meaning to what you say?What if every experience in your life is sent to you so you can understand who you are and what your life is all about?Just for a moment, consider the possibilities within that question. How Would YOU React To Tragedy Like This? The true story I'm about to share will have a profound impact on you, just as it did on me.One day a mother was in her kitchen doing the dishes, when through the window, out of the corner of her eye, she saw an alligator moving across the lake behind the family's Florida home. Attaining Financial Freedom Financial freedom is not about having enough money to spend to your heart's delight, without seeing red. It is freedom from the control of money; freedom from being a slave to money. Honesty Those who pride themselves on their honesty should also concern themselves with this principle: The effectiveness of honesty depends on a person's willingness to face the truth, which may conflict with this person's desires and provoke denial.In such a case, how can one promote this willingness, despite this conflict? The answer to this question could prove useful to anyone who seeks to be effectively honest with people in denial. The Power of Courtesy and Kindness I'm currently listening to The Secrets of the Power of Intention audio program by Dr. Wayne Dyer. Trusting Your Genius Within Comments about New Theories in the Professions and Business!I recall reading an article in The New York Times which fascinated me entitled, "Geniuses, Crackpots and a Grand Unified Theory" by James Glanz. The article basically stated that even geniuses have some crackpot ideas! It was about one genius meeting with other geniuses expounding all types of incredible theories. Imaginings Most people like movies. Some, like me, are enthralled by them. False Start Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 7, 2003.I was married three months ago, and I think I may have married the wrong woman. And How Do We Feel This Morning? Without question, going to the hospital is teamwork from the time you arrive until you are wheeled out the front door. Everyone is working together for the common good of the patient, or at least a crack at his bank account. My Next Year With Jesus (Joyful Reflections On My Walk With The Lord) The one question I keep coming back to is.. Dream Lover Direct Answers - Column for the week of September 1, 2003I met my wife a dozen years ago and her best friend shortly thereafter. I was always fond of my wife's friend. What Life is All About? When we look at lives in any places in this world, we may come to the similar red line. Those lives consist of phases that take living creature from a step to a further one. Who Is Wallace Wattles and Why Is He One of My Mentors and Heroes? Who is Wallace Wattles? Wallace D. Wattles died over 90 years ago so how can he be one of my mentors and heroes?I had been studying the works of some of the most famous self-improvement 'gurus' of recent times and several of them mentioned the book 'The Science Of Getting Rich' as the starting point of their own success. Relax. Its Just Your Life What am I supposed to do with my life? Shouldn't I be doing something.. Change Your Landscape by Seeing with New Eyes A Story (Source Unknown) - One day a very wealthy father took his son on a trip to the country for the sole purpose of showing his son how it was to be poor. They spent a few days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family. Thoughts on Loving Loving. It seems like such a simple concept. It Wont Happen Again Have you or do you know someone who has been abused or been involved in an abusive relationship? What is your definition of abuse? All of us know that physical violence is abuse. We also know there is emotional and mental abuse too, but do we know what it really is?What counts as abuse?I, myself have experienced physical, emotional, and mental abuse to different degrees. Just a Typical Teenage Boy Judge not, lest ye be judged. -Matthew 7:1The call was controversial-just as all really close calls in baseball are. Getting Past Those Blah Days Get It OutWhen something is bothering you, whether be a family problem or business roadblock, write it down or talk to someone about it. Keeping problems inside only worsen with time.
|
|||||||||||||||||||||
| Interesting sites: site map- backup program- Bali travel guide haba legetųj- V2 snus- |